Of anarkalis and kolhapuris

As promised,I'm back with an outfit post!Going ethnic never meant indulging into heavily embroidered saris and salwaar kameezes with ALL the jewelleries in the world for me!And more so for Diwali.Because this is a festival where there's fire all around.So,you gotta be really careful with your silk dupatta if you want to be safe.I'm still not used to calling it 'Diwali',it's still 'Kali Pujo' for me.Or maybe that's just the 'aatel' in me-desperately holding on to my traditions as much as possible on the special days while going around tossing all the moral education out on the other days.Maybe that's my way of looking down on people and saying,'you know,I might love my American sitcoms or I might be ready to murder anyone for a glass of authentic champagne or I might not know how to express my true feelings in Bengali(I just struggle for the exact words) but I'm WAY Bengali than all of you.I value my tradition and I can't even imagine polluting an essentially Bengali festival with Western influences.'

Anarkali-material bought from New Market ground floor and tailored from Gariahat Market

Tan sling and kolhapuri-Shreeram Arcade,lycra leggings-Metro Plaza

Headband-Gariahat

Earrings-Nik nish(probably)

Bangles-a Government organized crafts fair at Swabhumi(Don't remember the name)

                                                                          Anyway,back to the outfit.The kolhapuri was an obvious choice because I don't have a pair of mojris right now.And the green with golden adds just the right amount of color to the outfit.I've had my share of fun with colorful glass and wooden bangles.Was in a more 'earthy'(whatever that meant) mood today.So,I opted for the clay bangles.Believe it or not,I used to be a really earrings person back in school.So,the earrings must be at least five years old!The headband with anarkali idea is borrowed from the genius personified,Sabyasachi.It kind of made it a little boho chic.I love that.And the tan sling is a recent addition to my collection.It looks really predictable.But I just fell in love with the color and they didn't have it any other design.So,ended up buying it.The color hasn't come out right in this picture because of the poor lighting and my camera but I'm planning one more post with this one in broad daylight.So,you'll get to see its real color soon.

the silver lining or all darkness?

Sanket Chowkidar

Sanket sir with the center manager and the receptionist

Manager

Receptionist

And with that,all the craziness of these past few months comes to an end.CAT is over,people(for me)!While my exam hasn't gone well,I do feel relieved to finally have something else to think about other than environmental lawyers,contrasts between mughal art and budhdhism inspired art,asperger syndrome and stuff like that,for a change.Oh,make no mistake,preparing for CAT has been fun.I just wish I got a little more time and I didn't have my hands in so many pies...I've always been so depressed that most of the things in my life aren't challenging enough and they don't really push me.I LOVE it when something is so complex that it requires me to think for hours and I still can't arrive at a solution!Just gives my brain the right blow.And I'm not talking about hard-as-badly-baked-brownies-maths problems here.I've always managed a decent score in Maths but I've never loved it.It was one of those compromises you make in life,hoping for a better future.I've always seen myself as more of an European soul-exploring life,discovering the 'real me' and not giving a damn about the rest of the world in the process.I couldn't attempt even fifty percent of the questions today.I probably won't even clear the cut off.Even if I do get a call,studying H.R might turn out to be very different from what I expect it to be.But like they say,the destination isn't important,it's the journey that matters.This past year has been such a learning experience for me!Yes,I've still been very single,I didn't lose even two kilos and I still can't do a back flip.But I learned so much!Right from my childhood,I listen to what everyone has to say but when it comes to taking my own decisions,I generally don't get influenced by others.But 2011 was an eye-opener for me.I bowed down and how!And it taught me that keeping an open mind doesn't hurt.I've no right to decide someone's intellect just by seeing them.'Life is all about surprises' does sound like a cliche but at least part of it is true.I won't bore you again by singing paeans to that 'kind of cute Verbals teacher with pink lips and perfect British accent' because if I start talking about him,I can go on and on and this place is just too small.But preparing for one of THE toughest exams of India did make me realize a few very important facts.All those late nights,staying up and finishing mock test papers...it made me face myself,my real fears and I emerged as a better person at last,at least a braver person.I set my priorities.I realized my mistakes.I apologized to people whom I've wronged.I basically did fifty percent of what I was supposed to do after my retirement.And without all those outfit posts going on in your mind,boy,does the world seem clear!Anyway,since I won't probably be clearing G.D rounds,so,my 'special bonding' with one of the best teachers and one of the most inspirational persons of my life comes to an end.I've said a lot about him.Thought you guys finally deserve to see what he looks like.Remember what I had said,no?'His looks are all I hate about him'.But since I've no way to show you a glimpse of his personality,I don't expect you to understand why he's so special for me.If you like chocolate heroes,you might think he's 'okay'.;-)
P.S.Wish you all a very very happy Diwali!Have fun.Be safe.Ditch your old denims or sequined dress for an anarkali or sari or at least a short kurta and churidar(or patiala but not leggings) tomorrow.Will be back with the Diwali outfit post.Till then,take care.Love.

Good ol' times

It's time you say 'hello' to my friend Moumita again(If you don't remember her,click here).I've been super busy,thanks to the 'oh-so-life-changing' exam(if you missed the irony,I'm sure you're in bigger trouble than I'm and in that case,you shouldn't be wasting your time reading this post because it's neither 'meaningful' nor 'deep')on 25th Oct.So,I'm mostly holed up in my room,solving Maths,Data Interpretation problems and reading about everything from world politics and global economy to abstract art.Believe me when I say you DO NOT want me to pose in the tees and shorts I wear at home.They stink with a capital S because they're so comfortable that I don't let anyone wash them!Well,that's another story.I stopped buying tees almost two years back.So,these tees are so old and torn that I'm afraid that I won't be able to wear them and cover myself decently at the same time if they're washed.If you had finally decided to visit Kolkata and say 'hi' to me before going back to your hometown,don't cancel your plans.I'm squeaky clean once I'm out of my room.I use literally a gallon of anti perspirant roll on and spray every other day,my spraymint doesn't last more than two weeks and I don't wear the same clothes(apart from denims)more than once in a month.
                                                                            Anyway,let's get back to the real issue(Had you warned me just when I had started to go off track,you could've saved yourself a few lines of junk.Your bad.).So,since I had no time to do outfit posts,I dug out the old albums and found these pictures of hers.They're almost a month old and to be honest,I'm not a big fan of her shit flip flops.But,in her defense,she comes to Kolkata from Hyderabad all alone and she has to literally live out of a box over here.So,she tries to minimize the packing by only carrying bare essentials.In my case,it's a pair of nude pumps.In her case,it's a pair of green slippers.It's a free world,people!I also don't like the way she plays it safe with black nail paints ALL THE TIME!I just think she hides behind the 'goth'.Actually,she's afraid to experiment(At this point,I seriously hope she isn't reading this).And then,I've almost stopped wearing tees(except for dance classes and exams)and she keeps wearing them everywhere!I guess parties're the only place where she doesn't turn up in a tee.But I LOVE the beige bottoms!They're so fun and yet so basic!I can think of at least three different looks with them instantly!
                                                                                                    All said and done,she's one of my best friends and I won't have her any other way.It's these small things about her that makes her so unique!No one abuses me like she does,no one judges me like she does,no one finds me more irritating like she does but at the same time,no one loves me more.Here's to the times we've had together.Here's to the wet,clingy shirts,here's to the piping hot momos,here's to the hours of shopping,here's to the frustration of finding out that you don't love books and I don't like pasta,here's to life!

All roads lead to politics,huh?

In a country like India where the word 'politics' is synonymous to corruption,the last thing one expects is the politicization of a campaign that raised its head against corruption .Ironic,isn't it? The degradation of the once highly respected word 'politics' itself has been painful for me, always. I still can't believe the fact that Subhash Chandra Bose shares his 'designation' with the likes of Lalu Prasad Yadav,Y.S.Jagan Mohan Reddy ,Biman Bose or Anil Basu. You see,all of them are 'politicians'!
                                                                                  I've been raised in a middle-class family where people believed that even after your dinner is over and you're no more sitting at the dining table,if you're still thinking politics,you're in deep trouble.The politicians of pre-independence era were 'mahapurushs',not 'politicians'.
                                                                                  To be honest,back in my early teenage,I used to be a stupid romantic.I dreamed of living more than an ordinary life,dedicating my life to a cause worth living for,declaring war against the system...But then I grew up.I still try to support good causes in my own way but I don't let politics smear its mud all over my deeds.I'm as apolitical as I can be.I don't support any political party.Most of the time,reading the front page of the newspaper is like reading a satire for me,if you know what I mean.

                                                                                   However,the occasional apolitical movements(initiated by the so called civil society) never fails to grab my attention.Yes,most of the times the way of sending the message is cheesy and heavily Bollywoodi-sed.But still,I feel overwhelmed to see a bunch of people without any political interest,gather for a cause that does or doesn't affect their daily chores.Be it the Rizwanur-Priyanka case,the Mumbai terror attacks,the Nandigram tragedy,the Stephens court accident or anything else.So,when the Anna Hazare movement kick started as one of the most successful spontaneous apolitical movements,I couldn't have been happier. Yes,I DID have ideological differences with Anna Hazare and his team but I had immense respect for the septuagenarian for bringing the whole nation together and more importantly,for being able to make selfish urban people care for something more than their shopping,movies,work and pizza.Needless to say,the recent stand of team Anna on being marked as 'anti-Congress' rather than 'anti-corruption' has saddened me to no end.When I had finally started to believe that politics doesn't actually decide EVERYTHING in this country though it seems to,I've been proven wrong.All roads to all kinds of protest DO lead to politics.The success probably lies in how long they manage to escape the nasty grip of politics.

Only if...

Only if it didn't have to be my last class with you...
Only if I got a chance to tell you how special you're for me.
That Teachers' day card was SO not enough to convey my feelings!
I was scared,for days,thinking that you'd consider it inappropriate but you made me so comfortable!
Maybe you were just being polite but it meant the world to me!
I wish you woke up a little earlier today.Those red eyes and the swollen face with the heavy voice were SO not the ideal look you needed on the last class!
But as they say,'last' is such an over hyped word!All the so called perfect 'last moments' or 'last words' are pretty lame.I'd rather remember you as the only true inspiration I've ever had.The not-so-perfect last class won't make the other(at least thirty six)amazing classes any less important.2011 has been one of the most enriching years of my life!I learned a lot-I learned to express myself,I learned to be unapologetic,I learned to dream...I looked up to you and you never disappointed me.You sounded pretty positive today-'So,I'll see you guys after November in all probability...',whatever that meant.But I knew that my time was over.I won't qualify for the GD rounds.I'm trying hard not to let you down but I'm pretty sure I'll.Don't make that face so soon,I'm not being pessimistic.I'm just telling you the truth.In spite of your efforts,you couldn't change my X-factor- mediocrity.After this disaster,I won't have the heart or the courage to go up to you,sit in the second row and discuss 'sanctity of life'.I'll just go hide in my blanket.So,it was really important for me to say a proper good bye which I couldn't.It just seemed so stupid!But I could feel a lump in my throat when it ended,in spite of knowing that you felt nothing.

I've not been a good student.I might have been irritating.But God knows how much I'll miss you because you're the best teacher I've ever had!I just wish it didn't have to end so soon,and so abruptly...But like you say,'you don't have a choice always.'

And then frustration took over...

                                                     Are you a reality,are you a dream?
                                                                         
                                                     Why do you keep haunting me?
                                                                         
                                                      Aren't you done torturing me?
                                                                 
                                                      Or you need more?

                                                      Tell me then,surrender comes easy.

                                                      This is what I'm used to.

                                                      It's the wins I lose track of.

                                                      You tempt me,promise to stay,

                                                      and then you leave...again and again

                                                      I'm sick of this game...

                                                     Why can't you be gone,for once and for all?

                                                     Why do you give me these breaks between the sadistic sessions?

                                                     Why am I not allowed to just shut my eyes tight,take a deep breath
                                                   
                                                      AND

                                                      get done with it?

                                                      Dancing around telling people

                                                      that I'm too good to be an assistant engineer

                                                      and I'm meant to be one of those H.R. guys who interviewed us
                                
                                                      and then not clearing the exams is humiliating enough,

                                                      why're you still not satisfied?

                                                      If you have an answer,

                                                      you know where to find me.

Lack of inspiration

I hate what this festive season does to me.It turns me into one of those lazy couch potatoes.I go out A LOT during Shashthi,Saptami,Ashtami and then Navami onwards,I start staying at home and then I just refuse to go out till Diwali.There're plenty of excuses-sore feet,pimples,nothing to wear and so on.But the real reason is something entirely different.But this year,since I've classes or exams almost every other day,thanks to IMS,laziness shouldn't be a problem.I've also decided to wear a salwaar kameez on Diwali if CAT doesn't go worse than my expectation(which is as low as it gets).Meanwhile,I'm spending my time watching every freaking show on STAR WORLD and ZEE CAFE.I finally got over my food-asm while watching Masterchef.The key to success?Popcorn!
                           I'm also a little disturbed with the way court decisions are coming out,one by one.I'm no pro at law but CBI's reason behind not opposing Kanhimozhi's bail sounded pretty lame to me.I myself am a woman but the last thing I want is a favor for being a woman.That makes me feel really weak and isolated.I've always had a problem with women talking about equality and then expecting a man to vacate the back seat of an auto rickshaw for them.As long as we seek favors from men,we just can't expect them to treat us as equals.Because we give them reasons to prove that we're not,equals!I'm also really interested about the verdict of the Maria Susairaj case.I've not seen any detail about it in the newspaper since Sunday.If any of you have an idea,please let me know.I don't know who's guilty and who's not but I find Emile Jerome a really interesting and complex character.Had I been a writer,I'd surely have written an entire book on him.Cases like these make me regret not taking up psychology,specially criminal psychology as my subject.*Sigh*

                                                                                                     Anyway,did I tell you that I'm TOTALLY obsessed with my jumpsuit?I've worn it thrice till now.I'm a little apprehensive of experimenting till I get comfortable in it.So,I kept the basic look same,just wore it with different shoes or bags.I'll get into more eccentric looks as it gets older.But feel free to criticize.

Being different...

Funny thing about being different.You want company but the moment you get it,you dread it.I've always been interested in books,dance,art,theater,writing,politics and what not.Anything thought provoking and challenging is my game.But sadly,I've never been lucky enough to have friends who shared the same passion or at least were able to respect it.Trust me when I say that except my cousin and my verbals teacher and an ex-boyfriend of mine,ALL the people around me have been as shallow as possible!Some don't read newspapers,some are happy as long as they get the best bargains in the town no matter what happens to the rest of the world,some live on Bollywood,some live on Hindi 'saas-bahu serials' and some don't know the name of our President!Yes,I still have troubles believing it!According to them,reading is uncool,reading newspaper editorials is a crime and as long as I don't go ga ga over the 'tear-jerker' ending of the movie 'Guzaarish',I'm 'insensitive'.That's the reason I mostly prefer to keep to myself.But at the end of the day,I'm a human being.Hence,I'm a social animal.So,even I crave a little company while going for a movie or shopping.Make no mistake,some of these frivolous friends of mine actually love me.That's why I'm even more scared to admit it.You see,I've never really been good at choosing.So,I can't choose between 'saying goodbye to my intellect' and 'being all alone'.I just want to be selfish and want some miracle to happen so that I get to keep my friends around and still have the most 'aatel' discussions ever.I'm good with girlie stuff for a few hours,maybe twice a year.But all these mindlessness every day drive me crazy!I've always believed in making a difference.Some of you will roll their eyes and say that I've not been able to bring about even the slightest change with all my pretentious talk and douchebag ideologies but that doesn't mean we stop caring,right?The world is still going its own way but I'm a better and happier person because I believe that I've challenged it even if I tasted no success.I DID have sleepless nights considering whether it's better to give the beggar I see every other day money or to feed him 'kachori-sabzi'.I was too angry to watch my favorite soap opera because the CBI just gave up on the 'Aarushi' case.My heart went out to the poor Bihari vendors in Maharashtra but I thought twice before judging Thackeray and Co.I tried to find new meanings of the whole Anna Hazaare mania.I refused to even let my mother touch the 'pujo prasads' on my forehead to show my protest after the Swami Nityananda scandal.I never believed in the narrow idea of race,caste,religion but I never questioned spirituality.The 'rootless wonder' Pranab Mukherjee never failed to amaze me though I've always been an apolitical person.
                                                No,this isn't a post to brag about what a classy slut I'm.This is my sheer desperation and helplessness crying out loud.I know people never stop being greedy but tell me honestly,did I ask for too much?Is it really presumptuous of me to expect that I'll have a single friend who'll understand the 'real me'?One who'll never suffocate me?One with whom I'll be able to go on and on and still not have enough of it?One who'll throw me a strong enough counter argument to make me reconsider my ideas about world politics?One who won't call me a pervert if I keep staring at a nude painting for hours?
           If the answer is 'Yes',well,I'm sorry,I'm really,really,sorry.

P.S.the picture doesn't really go with the mood of the rest of the post but I'm in love with both the blazer and the red denims!

The real thanksgiving

Dear Maa Durga,
                           I hope you're doing well.I'd have sent you an e-mail but since our very own 'didi' took over,we seem to have gone back to the good ol' 'Akbar's zamana' where you don't have to care for any formalities.Justice is handed down instantly.Having issues with the local contractor?Catch the local M.P. jogging in the morning,describe the problem to him and he'll take care of it.Want to complain about the police taking bribe?Just be patient enough to wait until our honorable C.M. passes by Mallickbazaar crossing.Wave and she'll roll down the tinted glasses and will give you a fair hearing.Your problems'll be solved instantly.So,I thought an open letter might be more appropriate given the situation.Well,you might ask why I'm writing this letter.No specific reason.It's just that we've not really been in touch.So,never got to tell you some things I was supposed to,long back.First of all,thank you for never judging me for not being a 'believer'.You held yourself with a lot of dignity as if my opinion about you couldn't matter less.I was kind of impressed,I must say.I'm pretty selfish.I guess you know that by now.You were everywhere!Still I never bothered to drop by and say 'hi' but whenever I was in trouble,I remembered you all right.Even then,you held your composure.You helped me when you could.Otherwise,just declined me politely.Never mind the abuses I hurled at you thereafter.But you know what,it's not that I've always hated you.You and I used to share a pretty good bonding almost fifteen years back,remember?I really used to look forward to your arrival back then.But like every other relationship,over the years,it got a little sour with my bad boyfriends,family complications etc.
                                                                                                                                     While we're in catching up mood,let me give you a synopsis of how my life has been,in the past few years.As you must know,I got into an Engineering college but turns out Engineering was a huge mistake.It's so not me!I started to take dancing more seriously with every passing day until we(me and Dance)had a huge fight and broke up.We're still on a break.I'm planning to give our relationship a try after February.And I started a blog and it has proved to be one of the most enriching hobbies I've ever taken up.Men haven't really got the better of me till now.But a boyfriend with a lot of knowledge about books,art,current affairs etc. would be nice.He must not be dominating.I so believe in equal relationships!And the sex should be liberating,neither 'Oh God,this is so wrong!I wish we hadn't done that' nor 'Oh,come on,why not tonight?Why does it have to be so special?And why do you think about everything so much?It doesn't hurt,trust me!We'll take it slow'.That's pretty much it.A little sense of humor won't hurt though.*Wink*
                                                        Anyway,much about my mundane life.How have YOU been?Still going strong with Shiv ji,huh?How're the kids?And don't tell me that you've not gained weight,all thanks to the king sized meals over here?Do you still wear those old fashioned saris with zari and elaborate jewelery?  Come on,get a makeover,no?I'm a huge fan of saris in traditional fabrics!But you could,you know,spice things up a little bit with maybe a statement neckpiece and keep the other things simple.Or you could wear the sari with a twist.You could give the petticoat a miss and try a churidar with it.Or wear it like a skirt,you know.And ditch the blouse for a boyfriend shirt or a velvet jacket.And it's high time you discover SHOES!For your look,you could try a Kolhapuri or Mojri for starters.Remember,people might try to mislead you with shit sandals in bright golden and silver with heels and all but say 'NO' to them straightaway.

                                                                                            Okay,you might stop freaking out.A styling session with you was so not on my mind when I started writing this!Have you ever heard of Thanksgiving,the American tradition?Well,the real Thanksgiving is months away!But since Durga Pujo is an amalgamation of all the festivals for us Bongs,I thought I won't get a better time to thank you for everything.I'm such a loser!What do I have,to be thankful for?You might ask.Well,I'm thankful because you never said it to my face.I'm thankful because you made me go through failure,again and again and still gave me enough strength to stand up and fight back.I'm thankful because you made people break my heart but still never made me stop believeing in love.I still trust people and I'm proud of it.I'm thankful that you made me bold enough to admit my mistakes and swear not to repeat them again.I'm thankful that you always showed me the silver lining when I was too tired to look for signs.I'm thankful that you never gave up on me.Here's to you-the mother of all!

I'm grateful

Dear M,
                                   I know I've not been so polite to you,always.I know you've better friends.But I really appreciate the fact that you're so blatantly honest with me! I love it when you say that you hated my take on the fusion of Kolhapuri and vintage blouse.I love it when you hate my orange bag.I love it when you call me 'disgusting' and 'asshole' without even thinking twice.I love it when you want to screw me.I'm not a good friend.I'll admit it.I hope you remember that I used to be a better person.It's just that I've gone through a lot and it's changed me forever.I don't expect you to understand.I don't even expect you not to be judgemental.I just want you not to hate me.You're really special for me.And I get to spend so little time with you anyway(because of my 'fucking busy schedule' only,I know)!The time we get to spend together,I want you all alone then.Is that really THAT terrible?But you DID make me realize that I might be better than this.Thank you for that.That really was a wake-up call.

Anyway,we visited most of the south Kolkata pandals today(except Mudiali,Badamtala and Shibmondir Sarbojonin because I'll visit them on Navami).These are the few pictures that kind of stayed with me.And I finally wore stripes.And red denims.The nude punp was there to balance it out.

Shashthi morning

And finally Pujo is here! Since I'm going to be really busy for the coming few days,there'll be less writing and more pictures in here.My BFF hasn't arrived yet,so,I went out with another friend today.We visited the Ultadanga pandals(Karbagan,Telengabagan,Gouribari etc.),Sreebhumi and Laketown pandals(Sreebhumi sporting,Adhibashibrindo etc.),Dumdum Park pandals(Tarun Dol,Jubak Brindo,Bharat Chakra etc.) and Saltlake pandals(FD,Laboni,AD,BD,AE,EC etc.).I wore a ruffled top with black denims and my favorite pink pumps.The yellow sling is also a weakness.I beg your pardon for looking like a slightly classier version of your 'kaamwali bai' but eight hours of walking in the scorching sun with dust and humidity as additional advantages,hopefully you won't judge me.Enjoy the pictures.There were 68 pictures in total.But Blogger won't let me upload all of them.So,gave a few.Will be back with more.Till then,take care and 'Shubho Durgotsav' to all of you!