Friday, 7 October 2011

Being different...

Funny thing about being different.You want company but the moment you get it,you dread it.I've always been interested in books,dance,art,theater,writing,politics and what not.Anything thought provoking and challenging is my game.But sadly,I've never been lucky enough to have friends who shared the same passion or at least were able to respect it.Trust me when I say that except my cousin and my verbals teacher and an ex-boyfriend of mine,ALL the people around me have been as shallow as possible!Some don't read newspapers,some are happy as long as they get the best bargains in the town no matter what happens to the rest of the world,some live on Bollywood,some live on Hindi 'saas-bahu serials' and some don't know the name of our President!Yes,I still have troubles believing it!According to them,reading is uncool,reading newspaper editorials is a crime and as long as I don't go ga ga over the 'tear-jerker' ending of the movie 'Guzaarish',I'm 'insensitive'.That's the reason I mostly prefer to keep to myself.But at the end of the day,I'm a human being.Hence,I'm a social animal.So,even I crave a little company while going for a movie or shopping.Make no mistake,some of these frivolous friends of mine actually love me.That's why I'm even more scared to admit it.You see,I've never really been good at choosing.So,I can't choose between 'saying goodbye to my intellect' and 'being all alone'.I just want to be selfish and want some miracle to happen so that I get to keep my friends around and still have the most 'aatel' discussions ever.I'm good with girlie stuff for a few hours,maybe twice a year.But all these mindlessness every day drive me crazy!I've always believed in making a difference.Some of you will roll their eyes and say that I've not been able to bring about even the slightest change with all my pretentious talk and douchebag ideologies but that doesn't mean we stop caring,right?The world is still going its own way but I'm a better and happier person because I believe that I've challenged it even if I tasted no success.I DID have sleepless nights considering whether it's better to give the beggar I see every other day money or to feed him 'kachori-sabzi'.I was too angry to watch my favorite soap opera because the CBI just gave up on the 'Aarushi' case.My heart went out to the poor Bihari vendors in Maharashtra but I thought twice before judging Thackeray and Co.I tried to find new meanings of the whole Anna Hazaare mania.I refused to even let my mother touch the 'pujo prasads' on my forehead to show my protest after the Swami Nityananda scandal.I never believed in the narrow idea of race,caste,religion but I never questioned spirituality.The 'rootless wonder' Pranab Mukherjee never failed to amaze me though I've always been an apolitical person.
                                                No,this isn't a post to brag about what a classy slut I'm.This is my sheer desperation and helplessness crying out loud.I know people never stop being greedy but tell me honestly,did I ask for too much?Is it really presumptuous of me to expect that I'll have a single friend who'll understand the 'real me'?One who'll never suffocate me?One with whom I'll be able to go on and on and still not have enough of it?One who'll throw me a strong enough counter argument to make me reconsider my ideas about world politics?One who won't call me a pervert if I keep staring at a nude painting for hours?
           If the answer is 'Yes',well,I'm sorry,I'm really,really,sorry.

P.S.the picture doesn't really go with the mood of the rest of the post but I'm in love with both the blazer and the red denims!


  1. he he .. be happy in your own world babe.. dont expect much.. the friend you are craving for also have other issues and baggage suffocating enough to choke you...

  2. You're right.I SO needed to hear that!Thank you.And shubho bijoya!