Tuesday, 27 December 2011

The countdown begins...

And the countdown begins.Of lost causes and hidden failures.Of faded achievements and irrelevant appreciations.Of broken relationships and newly formed bonds.Of dreams never fulfilled and plans never materialized.2011 has been one hell of a year for me!Some highlights-

I turned blogger!
                           Yes,this is the very year I started this whole new world of mine.Blogging not only made me a bigger and better person but also taught me to be selfless,uninhibited,confident and AWESOME!This space is so personal to me that I feel almost choked if I try to talk about it.Now I know why women go through all the pain to give birth.It's totally worth it.I'm 21 and a mom already!The name of my child?sold-for-shoes-overweight-intellectual-dancer.blogspot.com.

I broke up with dance
                                   Had you told me anything remotely close to the above mentioned statement a few years back,I'd have beaten you to death.Yes,I was that passionate about dance.But things happen,you can't help them,right?Somehow,the bond didn't prove to be worth all the passion and intensity.I DO love dance,undoubtedly and will continue to do so as long as I live(no one can predict future but that's what I plan to do)but the failures don't bother me any more.I know I don't have what it takes to be THE dancer and I've grown oddly comfortable with this fact.However,I know I'm a decent dancer when it comes to my style and that's why I was never rejected at the first round in any audition.So,what the hell?You gotta choose your battles.You win some,you lose some.That doesn't make you a loser.I'll join my contemporary classes again(after April,I guess). I never stopped going to my Kathak classes.So,life's good.

I learned to let go
                             Something really important happened this year which taught me THE lesson of life.Someone really special came back to me to renew our friendship.I did something terrible to purposely hurt him and he left me because he was too hurt to forgive.I was inconsolable for a few days but then,I learned to accept it silently.I don't know how I managed to hold my composure but at the end of it,I'm glad that it happened because I came out a stronger person.He'll always be special,no matter what he thinks.But my heart no more skips a beat the moment I hear(or see) his name.Is this what they call 'attaining closure'?

I got a job!
                 Yes,it was nowhere in my list of activities but for an Engineer,life seems pretty scary without a job in the final year.I didn't exactly work my ass off since I was busy with other stuff but I DID work hard and it felt good to be appreciated.And the promise of twenty thousand bucks doesn't hurt at all!

I had a year long intellectual orgasm
                                                            I know my CAT was a joke and so will be XAT but preparing for these exams have been such a learning experience that at the end of the year,I don't even feel like I went in there to crack these.As they say,it's about how much you learn.Exams come and go,they matter the least.I always thought they were pure cliches but I actually got to feel it throughout the whole year.Not only was I blessed with THE BEST teacher I've ever seen(and my friend,philosopher,guide),for the first time in years,something really interested me and pushed me.Every VA class(specially R.C and essay classes)was so intense that I was almost left emotionally drained after it!It was undoubtedly one of the best experiences of my life!Thank you Sanket sir for making me believe in myself again.You'll always be special too.I don't have enough words to thank you but I hope you know how you've changed my life.

                                                                                                                                 2011 was all about it and more.It was such an eventful year that one post is just not enough for it.But life moves on.So,no matter how much I loved 2011,it has to go.And I'm ready to embrace 2012 with equal gusto.

Sunday, 25 December 2011

Jingle bells fading away...

That's how it comes and goes,every year.I make these big plans that never really materialize into actions.Okay,my cake was marginally better than previous years but it looked horrendous!Nothing was raw inside and that's a HUGE achievement for someone like me!Of course it wasn't pretty!I'm no Nigella Lawson,am I?It looked almost like a piece of pie topped with an exceptionally flattened omelette.It looked almost savory!The taste?Holy shit!Nothing was burnt,luckily.But it tasted less like a cake,more like suji(semolina)with dry fruits,orange zest,vanilla essence,orange juice and a LOT of butter thrown in.But my family was sweet enough to gulp it all down with a straight face.Thank you,guys!I love you all a lot more now.
                                                                                                This Christmas was nothing special for me.I went out with a few friends and roamed around like a zombie.I was finally planning to wear my one and only boots today but they decided to commit suicide at the last moment.Who knew suede was so delicate?Lesson learned.So,had to switch to these silver grey shoes at the last moment.I've gained a little weight,thanks to all the festive indulgences.Wearing a Santa cap took care of the rest and bam!You've the cutest she Santa around!.
          Suhel Seth had tweeted last night that no city celebrates Christmas with as much passion as Kolkata does.True.The lights,the carnivals,the merry faces,the Santas at every corner of the street literally force one to shake all their miseries off.I'll say this is the best time to work on an evident,long due break up because it's WAY easier to deal with your heartache with all the festivities happening around.Postponing it just for the sake of being together in Christmas,New Year and Winter(yes,even that's a festival for the Kolkatans.We LOVE Winter!Read picnics,visits to the zoo,museum,Victoria Memorial,circus,book fair,Bidhannagar mela and all the other fairs at Nalban,Milan mela grounds etc.,enjoying a ride at Race course,gorging on various meat delicacies and all kinds of sweets made with Nolen gur and what not)will make your life a lot harder later.Anyway,how's everybody doing?Hope you all had a great time.And till the first week of Jan,all the posts will be picture heavy and low on content.The meaningful posts will start after that.Is anybody complaining?

Wednesday, 21 December 2011

Final solution

Yes.yes,yes,shopping always does it to me.No matter what happens to me,no matter what miseries life present me with,I can proudly say that shopping SOLVES IT ALL! ALL THE FREAKIN' TIME! Yes,a Jhumpa Lahiri book does too but that's different.Most of the time,it makes me cry and washes all the pain away.It's the easiest detox possible.But you need a room,quiet surroundings(no parents to shout,"E ki,baban kadcho keno?Rough translation-what happened,why're you crying?),no work,no skincare regime to follow,no outfit posts to take care of(In fact,the lesser you get out of home,the better)...only then,it might work.On the other hand,shopping is the easy way out.Dress up in the comfiest clothes possible and SHOP TILL YOU DROP.A few clicks in between and bam!Was I upset?Really?
                                                                                            Christmas plans...ummm...I'll probably have the GD-PI class at IMS since the post-CAT torture session is kick starting from this Sat.I'm not complaining though.I've missed Sanket sir,A LOT!And it's time I get to lust after him,again. The class will be over around 4 or 4:30.Then I might go to the Park Street carnival and if things go according to our plan,I might have alcohol breath on my way back.I've not had a single drink since July!Give me some credit,people!And 'make your own cake' plan is very much on.Will do it on 24th and if it turns out decent,will share a picture over here too.Merry Christmas to all of you in advance.Have a great weekend ahead.Love.

Tuesday, 20 December 2011

Jingle bells,jingle bells,jingle all the way...

Dear Santa,
                 gone are the years when I used to ask for a never ending chocolate fountain,magic lamps,stockings and dancing frocks in all possible colors,boyfriends who'd sing songs to me-with their arms outstretched,Shahrukh Khan style.As you might have noticed over the years,I've even stopped asking per se.I was just happy that you hadn't forgotten me and paid me a yearly visit in spite of being so freakishly busy-sometimes with a book,sometimes with a bag I've been eyeing  for a long time or sometimes with just another box of chocolates I'll never get over.I always wanted to stay up all night so that I could finally see you,even if for once but you always managed to trick me into sleeping,some way or the other.I've always been able to relate to you personally.We both were overweight,full of life,unappreciated,lonely and caring.I was a huge fan of your cap and used to buy one every year,religiously!
                                                                                       But then,this year,I've something to ask for,for a change.I hope you don't mind.I've been going through a personal crisis and have been trying every trick in the book to get over it-hanging out with my girlfriends,shopping,eating until my stomach explodes,cooking,reading,watching movies and even keeping myself busy by talking to other people so that those who're not supposed to pop up in my mind can rest in peace.I'm even planning to get drunk on Christmas too though I'm currently a little low on cash and if you ask me to choose between the fantastic camel bag and a beer,I'll probably go for the bag.Anyway,enough with the small talk.Now,unlike my previous requests,this one's a little 'not so materialistic'. I need you to give me a little brains so that I can decide what's good for me and what's not.I need you to give me a little patience so that I can think twice before jumping into anything.And more than everything else,I need you to make me strong enough to handle all the difficulties life has to offer.In addition to that,if you make me a little more uninhibited so that I can click pictures for the blog on the middle of the road without hesitating,it'd be great.I'm so self-obsessed,no?Always talking about myself,always thinking about ways to make my life better...yeah,it DID occur to me after someone pointed it out to me this week.And I'll be keeping it in my mind while making a list of my new year resolutions.

                                                                                                                                                Anyway,hope you've been doing great.Take care and merry Christmas in advance!
                                                                                                     Coming back to the outfit,it's one of the humblest things I've worn in say,the past two months!This jute bag had been lying under the heap and gathering dust for a long time before I finally noticed it and decided to give it its due recognition.I loved the orange detailing on the border and while it might not be fit for a glamorous night out,I DO see myself carrying it with a few down-to-earth ensembles.The grey pants turned out to be quite different from what I had expected but still,I love them a lot,thanks to the color and the high waist.And about these kolhapuris,'nuff said.The tangerine headband is one of life's simplest pleasures and the chunky green watch is my new BFF.And did I forget to say anything about my white shirt?I bet you don't want me to start again.

Sunday, 18 December 2011

Heartbreak and Co.

It is that time of the year again(or maybe for the last time) when I lay my heart down on your path so that you can crush it again and make me feel useful(not used).But this time it was different.I lost you because of my own stupid,stupid blunders(not that you were mine to begin with). You can never forgive me,I know.But I can never forgive myself too.I can take your hatred,even that's 'feeling' for me but it hurts the most when you say you don't feel anything and you're perfectly all right.You know how much you matter.But when you crushed my heart,you didn't even pay attention to the slightly crinkly noise it made under your shoes-the last cry of the darkened,poisoned heart of a sinner .Just because a convict deserves the death sentence,it doesn't mean they want to die.A real judge is the one who feels bad for the convict without changing the sentence.It's been a beautiful journey so far(despite all the bitterness because I cherish even them)and now that it's over,even I'm lost for words when I think about it(and you say I'm good with my words!What a fucking joke!). The end of the road is never pretty and I'm not surprised that I feel like being in neck deep garbage with your words floating all around.I'm just glad that I stuck long enough to get a sigh and a highly sarcastic apology(your first apology ever.Wow!) from you("I'm really sorry.I never talk to girls like this but I've to.",did you mean it?I wonder.). I've so many things to thank you for...where do I start?Thank you for teaching me that pain can be so extraordinarily beautiful-sharp,crisp,intriguing,invigorating but oddly calming at the same time.I bite my lips,sometimes hoping it'll make it easy to bear THE PAIN,sometimes simply because it's so perversely pleasurable.How do I define love,you asked.I had no definitions.But you know what,I do now.I define love as the evil who makes me do something completely out of my character,makes me do something that really deserves all your lash out(and maybe more) and then forces me to sit through the most insulting hour of my whole freakin' life.You've never been gentle with me,you never pampered me.But you know what,you were never THAT rude too.I couldn't take it any more.It didn't go to my heart,it went straight to my brain and froze it in no time.I was shaking.There was a flurry of emotions.I've never felt so much in such a short time!But the intensity of all the mixed feelings left me numb.But I knew it was my last shot and boy,did I try my best!I had troubles remembering words but I still kept begging.I had to.I knew once you were gone,it was closed,I was dead.I wanted to live."I don't feel anything any more,not even hatred",you told me.When it was over,for once and for all,strangely,I discovered-I don't feel anything too.There's just this void that refuses to go away.In the past,concentrating on other stuff and keeping myself occupied have really helped me to get over THE PAIN.But now toh,even that doesn't work.
                                                                                                                                          The path to your heart(no matter how narrow it was) is closed,forever.I'm not dumb enough to doubt that.My heart does feel orphaned.Because it didn't plan an alternate route.I thought I needed so little resources that I could be there forever without bothering you-you won't even know I was there.But obviously,I should have taken nothing for granted.Beggars aren't allowed on every pavement.That doesn't mean those beggars are asking for too much.I wish you slipped a few clues in before leaving.After all,you knew what was best for me,always.And I screwed myself only when I stopped listening to you and tried to act smart instead.I can still feel every second of that fateful day(was it a day or days?I'm getting old too.And fiction has mixed with fact so perfectly that it's hard to remember what happened and what I hallucinated) under my skin.The memories are THAT fresh.

                                                                                              "In fact,it would be a crime to depict them as memories".

You  don't want my version,you don't want to have anything to do with me but I'll still say,I didn't plan this.I didn't want you to feel the way you felt and only God knows how THAT made me feel.I was stupid,I was selfish but I didn't want to hurt you,ever.You made a promise,I'll promise you something in return too.I'll move on,no matter what.I owe it to you so that you get rid of the last possible blame.You'll always be a part of my life,like a vestigial organ that serves no purpose apart from hurting you silently,in some way or the other.But I owe it to you to give love another chance(or maybe a few more chances)so that no one can blame you for ruining my life.I'll live,I'll be fine.I'll let you know when that happens,even if you choose to ignore it as a  spam
                                                                                    "I cry because it makes sense,
                                                                                      I smile because I get sick of crying.
                                                                                      These are the only two emotions I'm left with,
                                                                                       you took the rest."

And like we both say,"all of a sudden and it's truly ironic."

Wednesday, 14 December 2011

It's the journey that counts

The outfit Meher adored

The first picture from my first ever outfit post(on color blocking)

The second picture from the same post
'Blogging is a roller coaster ride',I remember my blogging idol Tanvii saying long back.I did get her point and being the highly opinionated person that I'm,offered my 'honest feedback' too.But I never thought about it on a personal level.I figured such issues were limited to only celeb bloggers like her.
                                                                                                                     Almost a month back,my last post before semester had an interesting comment.Meher of Translucid graffiti said,"Hey. Frankly I've never warmed up to the fashion in your blog, but since it's your personal style, and as long as you like it, who am I to judge, eh? But I absolutely adore what you're wearing there, and I really felt I must comment, since I loved your ensemble. And you're a pretty girl, and this post made me realize you have a way with words too."The comment had huge impact on me,not because I've managed to win a critic over(even if temporarily) but because it made me think how far I've come.Almost a year back,I was a good-for-nothing Engineering student,crashing and burning with my dancing dream,trying to gather enough courage to start a blog of my own.Sharing a piece of your life with the big,bad world on a regular basis can be scary.Also,it's a huge commitment.I wasn't sure if I was up for it.But I had a lot to say and I didn't want to go the  good old diary way.I consoled myself thinking since I'm exactly the opposite of 'popular',my blog will basically be limited to a few close friends.Why prepare myself to write something only my near and dear ones will see?Then came the scarier part.Taking photographs.My life is pretty mundane and boring and while I do hang out with my friends at least once in a week(many bloggers take pictures in the malls,on the road or in the restaurants),I'm too shy to take pictures of myself,in the middle of the road.My place isn't a cameraman's delight and worse,I don't even have a DSLR!None of my friends(the ones I see regularly,that is)has a passion for photography.At first,there were awkward requests.I did try to sound cool and nonchalant as if it's not something I need but just a passing request.At times,they forgot and I was too shy to remind them at the end of the day that they hadn't taken the picture they had promised to take in just a minute.I DID want it to be a personalized blog.So,I didn't want it to be full of only pictures downloaded from the internet.But at the same time,I didn't want to compete with all the pretty and amazingly well-dressed fashion bloggers out there because I knew it was a losing game.They were way ahead of me and to be honest,I didn't even know anything about fashion to begin with,let alone implementing them in my wardrobe!My first outfit post was horrendous,fashion wise!And the worst part?I was giving fashion advice in it!Yeah,even I laugh at myself when I think about it.But then,I was blessed with such good friends!They would take any piece of shit from me and never complain!After a few disasters,I kind of got the hang of it.I thought what I was best at-being myself.I figured out who I stood for-the so called ugly,uncool girls who had no dressing sense.I wanted to show them that there's an alternative to blue sweaters,over sized denims,flip flops and backpacks.Sure,you can't look like a million bucks but you can look decent and feel good about yourself.Meher,mine wasn't a fashion blog,it still isn't and hopefully never will be.So,my fashion sense would never be 'fashionable'.If I've been able to become 'tolerable' from 'hideous',it's a huge achievement for me.Having said that,you've full right to criticize me the way you want.Just because it's personal style,doesn't mean you're no one to judge.If I've been bold enough to share a slice of my life with the rest of the world,I should be gutsy enough to accept others' point of view.Because,when you share anything personal on a public platform,it no longer remains personal.So,please don't hesitate to speak your heart out if you ever visit my blog again,you'll be more than welcome.I don't want to be surrounded by praise,constructive criticism keeps one grounded.
                                                                        So far,it's been an incredible journey.Blogging has proved to be one of my most satisfying hobbies.I've never believed in reaching destinations.I always thought it's the journey that matters.It's the people you meet on the way,it's the experiences you share with them,it's the stories you get to know from them.No relationship lasts forever.We've come to the world alone and we'll go alone.No matter who I'm surrounded by when I die,I'll be as alone as a ghost on my way to the dark alley of death.People'll comfort me to make my journey a little less painful,they won't sacrifice their life to accompany me.So,life isn't about forming lifelong bonds,at least my life isn't.It's all about working on a collage-collecting the fragments and pasting them to perfection.I learn something or the other from every experience.So,I've no regrets.People come and go,I try to remember them by the golden moments we shared,not the ugly fights we were part of.So,I don't think what my blog will look like after ten years,how it'll end,if I'll be able to give it the farewell it deserves,if people will turn up for it or it'll be forgotten like it never existed.I live in the present.I take things the way they're.Life is too short to predict.

Tuesday, 13 December 2011

back to blogging

Life surprises you in the most amazing ways,and specially when you expect it the least.That's why I feel lucky to be alive.Or that's what my facebook status reads.I've not blogged for a long time.So,it DOES feel a little awkward.Almost like when you see a loved one after a long time and don't know where to start.You try to make it easy starting with small talk,no?Well,so,my exams went average and I couldn't be more proud of myself!This year was tough for me,with campus interviews,CAT and then semester,back to back.So,I hardly got time to study.And I'm just glad that I've a good chance of passing decently.
                                                                 Ummm...what else?A devastating fire shook the slums of Dhakuria early this week.One of the most well-known private health care centers of Kolkata was on fire.The fire started around 2 a.m. and continued for hours.The patients kept burning alive.There were people from eight to eighties.Some had their hands and legs tied up(yeah,they were being 'treated',I might remind you),some couldn't talk,some were in coma.Worlds came crashing down around me but I kept sleeping in the warmth of my blanket.Humanity cries,once again,and we choose to ignore it,as usual.However,there were a few bravehearts which proves that our city,even now,isn't dead.Two students of La Marts Boys' chose not to catch the action on their TV and go tsst tsst and decided to go to the venue and help in every possible way instead.
                I've not been in touch with the world lately.A lot has happened,a lot is about to happen and I feel a little lost.That's why I hate exams.It throws you off track,it costs you your morning newspaper and weekend family movie.However,it also makes you realise how much you love the life you have and therefore,you stop complaining.I've a lot to catch up on.The outfit posts will start from Thursday,hopefully!Just wanted to let you all know that I'm still very much alive.Sorry for the boreness quotient of this post.It was meant to be more of a personal note than a post.A pretty ambitious post is on its way but my closet looks like shit and I've to shop a little for that one.I'm a little low on cash too,at this moment.So,don't know how long it'll take.But my b'day is coming and I'm already telling people 'what I need'.So,hopefully,a few gifts will help me with the post I'm planning for.On a parting note,
                               "we never left,we never stopped,we never fell out of love.
                                 If that's not good enough for you to start,maybe it was in my head.
                                We became 'you and I' long ago."
                                                                                  It's for a very special friend of mine.I don't know if he'll ever take a look at it but if he does,I know he'll understand.Take care and have a good day.

Friday, 18 November 2011

One heart too many?

Right from the childhood,I've not been good at saying 'no'.I don't know why,I just can't bring myself to saying those two dreaded letters!And it gets tougher for me when it's a friend I'm talking about.My astro forecast on the 2nd of Jan,2011 said that I've 'ample romantic opportunities' this year but Kusum Bhandari failed to mention that it'd be an emotional turmoil for me rather than fun.Proposals kept coming in,one after another.It was easier saying a rude 'no' to strangers('Not friends' are basically strangers for me)but then things kept getting more personal.A long-lost friend came by and I almost ruined his relationship with his current girlfriend and then the weirdest thing happened.A friend I've known for years conveyed his feelings for me.It came out of nowhere.I used to pull his leg but I never thought he might have enjoyed it.In fact,I thought he always resented me.He was innocent,hopeful and naive.Looking at his face,burning bright with hope,with beads of excited sweat on it and saying the cruel word wasn't easy.I kept trying to avoid the topic but he won't let go.Sometimes I think it's just me.I've such a hypothetical concept set in my mind that nobody,absolutely nobody would fit it.Well-read,sensitive,understanding,intellectual...the list never ends.But the worst part is that I've had relationships like these.They didn't last long but it left its lingering taste in me.I know what I'm looking for.I know it exists.But the search is just taking too long.I also hate the way I'm losing grip over words.I feel dark circles all around my fingers and mostly,I feel tired.Almost as if I've said too much.Reminds me of one of those good ol' country English short stories with a lady in gloves,plaited skirt and stick,sitting by the window all day long...I feel old.And I feel I've not lived enough.And nothing makes me that happy any more.But there're exceptions.A beige blazer DOES lift my mood up,even if for a few hours.I had a lot of meaningful posts planned.But with exams round the corner,I just don't get much time.Maybe after 8th Jan,I'll do a post that'll be worth all the wait,and the delay.Till then,good for nothing posts with a few pictures it is.

Thursday, 10 November 2011

Fugly Betty

The tribute series hasn't come to an end.I'll keep doing them once in a while but I don't have any more in my kitty for at least a month.So,feel free to discontinue visiting this space if you were interested in the tribute posts only,I'll totally understand.Anyway,after getting used to so many drop dead gorgeous ladies on my blog,I had nothing in my drafts(or wardrobe) that would come even remotely close to them.So,I decided to try my hand at something that they'd NEVER be able to beat me in-being ugly(and fat)!
                                                                                                         I don't know about you but I'm a die hard 'Ugly Betty' fan! It has not only empowered me and made me more confident,it has helped me face my fears and get over them.Betty is such an inspirational character!We DO differ(I wear prints as less as possible,I'm a total solid color person.Glasses're not really my thing and I've never worn braces)but somewhere down the line,I'm a Betty too.So,I decided to have a little fun and do something that'd be a fresh change from all the fashion happening in here.So,one fine morning,I got up and slipped into one of my least favorite tops.I decided not to comb my hair.So,I left it the way it was when I had gone to bed the night before(If you really can't do without fashion,you're allowed to see it as one of my interpretations of the oh-so-in 'messy side plaits').I'm not much of a make up person anyway.But I ditched my best friend Kohl too.Please tell me I look ugly.That'd make my day!I don't need you to tell me that I'm fat though.I'm pretty confident about that.;-)

P.S.Pooja Mishra's 'Joker makeup' in the 'Bigg Boss' house has really inspired me too.So,I'm definitely going to try my hand at it sooner or later.Suggestions,people?

Wednesday, 9 November 2011

Not an end...

As I've mentioned in my facebook post today too,this tribute series has opened a whole new window for me.So much appreciation from so many great people!I'm overwhelmed!I'm also quite certain that every blogger,somewhere down their heart,is a nice and warm person.It takes a lot of guts to start blogging,to be brave enough to open up your life to the rest of the world.In these seven months of blogging,I've contacted quite a few bloggers,sometimes on a public forum,sometimes on a more personal basis.But I've never been misunderstood.I've always got more than I could ask for.Every smile has been met with a warmer smile.Every little compliment has been answered with the politest regards.And nobody,not even a single person has discouraged me or reminded me how lame my blog is.Even when I had started mailing bloggers asking for their permission to use their pictures on my blog,nobody thought that I might do it to gain a little publicity by cashing on their popularity.Nobody thought I might do it because I'm running out of topics to write about.They all were really supportive and thankful and kind.Really,blogging is a whole new world where all the cruelties of the real world don't exist.And given a choice,I'd rather live in this world than the bad,old real one.I can't thank all you bloggers enough for making me trust people again.
                                                                                                               Anyway,I'm going out of track.I'm not at my best when I'm emotional.So,the next blog in the line is 'Vintage Obsession'.Unlike the other tribute posts,this post will be more of a fan mail than a dedication peppered with a few personal anecdotes.Because,sadly,though Smirthi of Vintage Obsession is one of my all time favorite bloggers,I've not really got a chance to interact with her personally.And trust me,it's been one of the biggest regrets of my blogging life.It's a shame because we both come from Engineering background and we both love Bangalore obsessively(if you're a reader of her blog,I needn't explain her reason and I LOVE Bangalore because I've some of my best friends down there and I believe it's one of the truly cosmopolitan cities of India,never mind Mumbaikars and Delhites).
                                                                                                               One thing that has always fascinated me about Smirthi is that she's a fashion blogger with an Indian voice.I still can't forget one of her posts with a belt bag where she had said that she had read that these belt bags were really 'in' these days in some magazine while she had bought them on a trip to Rajasthan long back but of course,some foreign fashion pundit has to come and tell us that something in our country is 'cool' and 'hip' and 'in' and only then,we go ga ga about it.We need others' approval in order to feel better about ourselves.That's when I fell in love with her for the rest of my life.She's a blogger for whom fashion doesn't only mean reading 'Vogue' and checking out high end stores.She has an eye for everything beautiful-a fellow traveler,a quirky poster she came across while going somewhere else,small village children living in a whole new world and what not.She has an eye for every little detail.These days,'Vintage Obsession' has collaborated with Bruno from Mozambique for the photography part but I guess she herself could've been a really successful photographer if she wished.She's also a huge supporter of anything Indian.She has great love for our heritage,fashion wise or otherwise.She is a sucker for anything made by artisans and blends them beautifully with the high street elements of her wardrobe.For every 'Vero Moda' in her outfit posts,there's a skirt made by an unnamed tailor.She has a thing for black.Every time I think I'm sick of black and I'm finally ready to take a 'no black till I die' pledge,I go visit her blog once.Just one look at what she does with black and I'm a black person again.And most of her outfits are like those dark satires that play out a funny scene but you're scared to laugh because something tells you that it's not at all funny,it's actually scary and tragic.You're always looking for new interpretations,fearing that you still haven't really got her.There's more to it than what meets the eye.And ah,the vintage part.I almost missed it.No post of hers(except the ones she does while she's on the run)is complete without a vintage element-a glove,a skirt,an umbrella or something else.And that's something I LOVE about her!Every look of hers represents her as a whole-things she's proud of,things she's comfortable in,things she's passionate about...I can go on and on but it's just a blog.

                                                                                                                            Writing about her is a little hard for me because I don't know what to say-the things that I've always wanted to tell her or the things I adore her for.The things that I follow her for or the things I've always wanted to share with her.The things I want you to know about her or the things I've always wanted her to know about myself.It slowly becomes a post plus a personalized letter plus a fan mail(like I said).It even gets tinged with that 'I know you don't owe me anything but I still can't help being a little mad at you for never reaching out to me.You should know what a desperate reader I've always been and you still let me remain just another reader'.I'm sorry,Smirthi.It sounds stupid.But I promised myself before writing the post that I won't go back and delete a single word.So,I'll just let it be the way it is(even if it's super embarrassing).I've always been a demanding person.Just reading my favorite blogger isn't enough for me,I can't sleep until I tell her how inspired I'm and what I specially liked about it and how it influenced me and how I tried to interpret it and if that was what she had in her mind too...I'm just too selfish.I want to have my cake and eat it too.I guess a lot of pent up discussion with Smirthi(damn her mail ID which my good ol' gmail doesn't understand) is the sole reason that makes this post so hard!
                                                                                                       But honestly,I'm just thankful that an extraordinarily inspiring blogger like her allowed me(and many other readers like me)a glimpse of her life-the books she reads while sipping coffee,the walks she takes while the sun goes down,the movies that inspire her,the jokes that make her laugh...It's almost sharing a scratch book of her mind with us and that's really personal and I can't thank her enough for it!And the icing on the cake?She knows Spanish!How cool is that,huh?

Tuesday, 8 November 2011

Inspiration-part III

This tribute series has been super fun till now.All the posts have been received with so much positivity that I feel like a changed person already!I was going through a rough phase,thanks to a screwed-up CAT,a missed audition and a semester knocking on my doors but the world has started to look pretty darn good this week.
                                                                          I'm so happy to be able to maintain the sequence finally!Part-III is coming up after part-II,yay!Yeah,it never was a number game but with the sequence being maintained,it's definitely cleaner.Funny thing.'Clean' is the second word that comes to my mind when I think of Kavya,the most meaningful blogger I've read so far.The first word?Pretty,duh!
                                                                                                                       When I was a kid,I was taught that 'nothing,absolutely nothing in the world is perfect'.But Kavya proves all those frowning philosophers wrong with a capital 'W'.Remember the fairytale princess we all wanted to be at some point of our life or the other?Kavya is as close to that idea as it gets in this real world full of pollution,cruelty,body odor and sneezes.She's one hell of a beauty,undoubtedly.But the story doesn't end there.She's a poet,a make up artist,a hair stylist and what not.She has proved another cliche wrong-'there's nothing called beauty with brains,beauties are either dumb or cunning'.She's the epitome of perfection-perfect smile,perfect hair,perfect figure,perfect everything.But still,she stands apart from all those beauty queens.She's so sensitive,so deep!Every post of hers is a journey of self-discovery.They make you look into the mirror and ask yourself A LOT of questions.And often,you've to wait for her next post to get your answers.I love her and Jhumpa Lahiri for the same reason.They both leave the readers with a sense of incompleteness.That makes you read it again and again and wish if it lasted just a little longer.They're beautiful,musical,filled with subtle details but the feature that remains with you forever is that they're 'unfinished'.And that make them timeless classics.Kavya plays with her readers cleverly,sometimes even cruelly-saying enough to get you hooked and leaving it just where you were about to reach a peak.You feel cheated but you still continue following her religiously.Why?That's an answer I'll never get.

                                                                     I keep complaining a lot about people around me.I hate their shallowness,I hate their self-obsessed nature,I hate their selfishness,I hate the fact that they don't give a damn about the rest of the world as long as they get their denims and pizzas but Kavya's one girl I can never have enough of.She's proud to be a woman,she's pretty vocal about our rights and she's anything but docile.But it still fascinates me how she can say all that I've always wanted to and still doesn't sound half as angry as I always am.I've seen many chauvinistic men laugh at me and my extreme ideologies.Some termed me 'didi'(derived from the infamous chief minister of West Bengal),some couldn't stand me,some said I wasn't 'wife material' and will never be able to make someone happy and the rest just chose to ignore me.But I'm pretty sure they couldn't do the same to Kavya's Womens' day post.That's a quality,you know.You needn't scream at the top of your voice and mouth the choicest abuses to make people listen to you and believe in your cause,you just need to make them love you.That solves half the problems.
                                                                                   And of course,apart from all these,she's a fashion blogger too!Her style decoded?Simple,chic,classic and of course,perfect.She has a thing for feminine dresses and touch wood,she looks like a million bucks in them!She prefers to keep it simple with just one or two interesting accessories without too much clutter.She's partial to heels.I've never seen her 'dressed down'.Life IS beautiful when you see it from her eyes.Because that's just her.That's the way she's-seeing always the good in everybody.She's one of those very few persons in this world who're beautiful from outside as well as from inside.She's so busy with her studies and projects that she hardly gets time to blog(Yes,her blog is one of those things that come in small(and not-so-frequent) doses but the result is totally worth the wait)!But you mail her a query and she'll reply you in a jiffy that she'll 'get back to you after her research'.No,she doesn't call it 'research'.Modesty is her middle name.And then,after a few days,you'll get another mail containing an almost hundred word long answer with the polite note where she 'hopes' that she has been able to answer all your queries and if you still have some,you can get back to her.Amazing,right?Even when I had mailed her asking for her permission to use a few pictures from her blog for this post,she wondered if she was 'worthy of being featured on my blog as she hasn't accomplished anything great in life as yet'.You see what I'm talking about?Where did I found this gem?'Fashion Bombay'!She was doing an internship with Sonu and Jasleen and they had done a post on her where the link to her blog was given.Lucky me,right?
                                                                                             Lastly,I'm not good at being with someone 24x7.I love my dance instructors inside the studio but I don't want to go to a dinner with them because they're dumb when they're not dancing.I love to go shopping with a friend of mine but I won't take her to a book launch because she hates books and I hate that.I love getting drunk with a rich friend of mine but I don't want him around when I'm sober because he doesn't know the real me.He has seen a diluted,shallow,intoxicated version of myself and that's far from what I actually am.So,the jokes I had found insane funny back in the bar will seem offensive to me otherwise.But Kavya is one person I'd love to be with,anywhere,anytime.She thinks the same thoughts I do,maybe a little earlier and a little more beautifully.She loves the same things I do.And reading her posts is such a personal experience that I feel almost naked.I want to tear the post from my monitor and hide it under my pillow.Exposing my deepest thoughts,fears,likes and dislikes to the world seems such a violation of my privacy!I feel her posts belong to me and me only.

Monday, 7 November 2011

Inspiration-part II

There’re those who love a splash of color every once in a while and there’re those who swear by color.There’re those who use a little color to jazz up their otherwise boring looks and then there’re those who sometimes use a little whites and greys to balance the riot of colors.No points for guessing which category Karishma of Purple Peeptoes belongs to.If she wasn’t a living being(and very living at that),I’d have bought a bottleful of hers with all the money I’ve got .Ask why?She’d have been less fatty and more effective than my other comfort foods(read hot chocolate,phuchka,cheese burst pizza,khichri etcetra).I’m serious.No smileys down there.But then,had she been a cupcake,I guess she’d have eaten herself up long back.So,I’d have had to make do with poor(and desperate) imitations of hers.Trust me,you can make her do ANYTHING UNDER THE SUN with the promise of a basketful of cupcakes!
                                                               I discovered her  on ‘The Telegraph’ only.And my life has never been the same.I can bet my whole property(not that I’ve a lot of it,that’s why I dare risk it)on the fact that ‘Karishma has had a bad day and she HAS BEEN depressed ever since’ would be the greatest lie in this whole damned world!Yes,everybody has bad days but then,for someone as chirpy,peppy,colorful and insanely fun as Karishma,’sorrow’ is just a six letter word.She used to be ‘goddess of Boho’(if I remember correctly)back when I had just started reading her.Now toh,she’s all grown up-doing media projects in all black and white pencil skirt and shirts!:P
She’s one of those persons I’ve literally felt growing up.I’ve been following other bloggers for more than a year too but I’ve noticed the most significant changes in her.Not only her dressing sense and writing style evolved,she grew up as a person.She was one of those very few bloggers who were near my age(yeah,most of them are either older or younger,twenty one is such a tricky age).So,I identify with her the most.I’ve felt those ballons in my heart that she does every other day,I’ve gone through the turbulnce she went through at times too.Oh,don’t think she has blogged about them in a *tears and sobs* post.That’s just not her.She has one hell of a sense of humour!Sometimes,she’s so funny that it’s almost unfair!
                                                                                                                                             And now comes the most important part.Following her blog hasn’t been only fun.It has been much,much more than that.She’s the one who taught me to say it out loud,’yes,my shoes cost a hundred bucks!But see how cool they’re!I got a good bargain,bitch!Is that why you’re jealous?Is that why you can’t stop talking about your zara blouse?’Don’t get me wrong.She never used the B word.That’s just my adaptation.If you’ve ever played ‘chinese whisper’,you’ll know what I’m talking about.She’s the one who taught me how to wear colors-crazy,insane colors,day ater day,without getting tired or embarrassed.She’s the one who inspired me to let go of the air conditioners and get down and dirty on the streets.You get the best deals that way.With a fabulous tan and a little weight loss(because you’d be sweating it out,silly!).And she also plays the role of a responsible informer.The discounts,the fairs,the new stores opening…she informs it all on her blog!And like a true blogger,she isn’t obsessed with herself.She spends more time behind the camera than in front of it.Her click happy fingers miss nothing-a fellow student roaming around in a more colorful ensemble than her(that’s a serious threat,I guess) or a traveller ‘dressing down’ in the coolest pair of chappals and harem pants,she clicks it all!And she’s blessed with one of the coolest and best dressed groups around!Almost all her friends(or the ones that I’ve seen at least)have an individualistic style and never shy away from showing it off.So,that gives her a bunch of fresh models at her hands any time she wants.And don’t even get me talking about her brother.He’s so hot(specially when his super stylish sister dresses him up in one of those irresistable khakis) that I might get a burn scar if I continue talking about him.*Sigh*