Sunday, 14 June 2015

Unequal Role Perceptions

I was fifteen when I had told a friend that I want to be a single mother because "I don't want to share my baby with anyone else." I told her that I felt my mom was capable of doing everything that my dad does if she wants to but my dad can't do the same. So, I can imagine her bringing me up on her own but the idea of growing up with only my father scares the shit out of me. I also admitted that I like boys but I'm not sure about sharing things I love with them(chocolates and books being my obvious choice back then). My friend was horrified and even though she didn't tell me, I'm sure she thanked God for not being my daughter. A decade has passed but the story remains the same everywhere.
                                                                                                                        I'm not a staunch feminist. In fact, I have chosen to call myself "not a feminist" for at least the past five years. So, the idea of some people perceiving women as weak, fragile and dependent doesn't annoy me, it amuses me. Yes, I have seen women who always need someone to fall back on but I know for sure that I can bloody well protect my child in this big, bad world and provide for them as long as I have a job and I'm physically fit.
                    On a related note, I was reading an article the other day about male rape victims finding it difficult to share their pain and seek medical help because being raped isn't "manly" and trying to carry on with their so called normal life despite the regular bleeding and the pus-covered anus. A little more research on the same topic made me throw up and cry. I kept wondering what purpose such skewed role definitions of our society served other than alienating people and breaking their hearts. Putting your wife through indirect mental torture because she earns more than you do is as bad as leaving your husband because he is a rape victim. Forcing your son to go for Cricket coaching instead of Odissi classes is as bad as not letting your daughter go to school. When would we accept human beings as human beings? I see so many brave, intelligent, powerful women wasting all their energy on the eternal I-can-do-it-better-than-you fight with men instead of trying to find out what it is that they are originally good at and focus on being the best at that instead of always trying to be better than someone. If one always strives to be as good as someone at something, the person would never be able to rise beyond that someone. I should aim to be my best. If I end up being better than a few people in the process, that's only an added bonus. Is it that hard to achieve? I dream of a society where sex would be just as menial an information as someone's blood group on a form which is meant to be used only in case of emergency. I dream of a society that welcomes both a masculine woman and an effeminate man with an open embrace. I dream of a society where I won't be judged for being a single mother and my son won't be called names if he finds my aanchal comforting even after the age of eighteen. I dream of a society where I'd be a human being first and then a woman.

Maxi dress- Emami Market, cuff and rings- New Market, silver kolhapuri- Shreeram Arcade, lipstick- Orange Punch by Colorbar

Monday, 1 June 2015

Inspiration - Muse-ment...

Oh, happiness is not what I seek.
Give me the saddening Summer creak.
And the Autumn sand.
Also, the contraband
of wars going on inside
where despite my best efforts
the devil wins bona fide.

When I pass by
your place while
being on the sly;
for me, shed a tear
or two as I welcome
like a tired child, my fear
and look it in its eye,
resigned yet calm,
kissing our dreams goodbye.

After almost a year long phase of being able to imagine only in Bengali, inspiration happened quite by chance. Dreaming, imagining and writing only in Bengali was extremely satisfying but among other things, Bengalis are also famous for being "truly bilingual". As one of my favourite authors Kunal Basu puts it, "...Because we, the Bengali intelligentsia...are this rare species on earth that is truly bilingual...Bilingualism doesn't mean being able to read street signs or being able to read newspapers in two languages. It means having two streams flow inside our consciousness. And being able to dip into one stream without abandoning the other. The educated Bengali actually had their toes dipped in both these streams. They read Samar Sen with a passion which was no less than the passion with which they read Sylvia Plath." So, being the true Bengali that I'm, not being able to pen down my thoughts in a few coherent English lines was painful and I was elated when inspiration came in the most unusual form - a few lines scribbled by fellow blogger Kshipra! And there it goes! My creative block(in English)coming to a pleasant end. And in order to celebrate it, I took the new cape out for a spin. Mixing prints is an absolute personal favourite while monochrome and stripes happen to be my ultimate solution to any fashion crisis. And that's how this outfit was born.

Shorts- B.K.Market, shirt- Colaba Causeway, cape- Myntra, brogues- Simpark Mall, lipstick- MAT4 Bold Matte by Maybelline

I'll be back with my Summer staple- maxis and a painful journey I keep fantasising about. Till then, take care and like I always say, keep it stylish.