Monday, 25 August 2014

Rebel turned disciplined?

All my life, I have been a rebel. The art of discipline never appealed to me. I always enjoyed breaking rules instead of obeying them. Therefore, all my friends thought I had gone mad when I told them about my disciplined lifestyle these days. And my family was pleasantly surprised.
                                                                                                         One of my closest and most special friends had told me something long back that I couldn't appreciate fully. He said everything(or most of the things at least) holds their charm only when they are forbidden. Once the ban is lifted, one would hardly crave it. According to him, the key to the success in relationships lies in this simple fact. As long as couples can come up with ideas that make their relationship feel forbidden and illegitimate(and adventurous), the fun would be there. The moment both the persons know that they are supposed to be together and they love each other and nothing can separate them, they'd have no passion left and it'd be the death of the relationship(feel free to draw parallels with 'Death of poet' in this context).
               I've mixed feelings to his theory for various reasons best left unsaid. However, if I apply this same logic to my lifestyle, it perfectly explains my painstakingly disciplined lifestyle these days. Back in my childhood, rules were all I was taught to adhere to. There was a rule for everything-when to wake up, what to have for breakfast, what to wear, who to play with, when to do my homework, when to watch TV, what all channels to watch, how long to talk over phone...and of course when to start dating and how far to go with the boyfriends. In the presence(and enforcement) of so many rules, all I wanted to do was rebel. But as I started growing up, my otherwise rigid parents(to my relief and surprise), started loosening their grip and I got to do exactly what I wanted. I believe it was partially because of the regular fights at home and partially because of my mom's belief that teenagers adopt the right values if they are given freedom in small doses. Nonetheless, the result was delightful. All throughout my student life, most of my friends were envious of the freedom I got from home. "No curfew hours?","Your mom knows that you drink?","Your parents would let you go on a trip with your friends?","You talk to your boyfriends in front of your parents?","Your parents allowed you to move out?" were some of the very few questions I used to be bombarded with by the zealously protected rich kids in class.
                                                      To be honest, I had my fair share of fun. Despite financial constraints, the kind of liberating experiences that I've had in my age would be rare to come by, I dare say. However, after ten years of no rules, being a rebel didn't seem to be as glamorous as it had when I was a kid. I secretly wished my parents made angry calls every time I was staying out late instead of a somewhat worried but supportive "it's okay, take your time, come safe". I found myself feeling guilty and irritated at the same time when everyone in class was scolded for performing poorly in the exam while my parents said nothing. I wanted to be the good old protected child again. Life seemed to be so much easier when someone else makes the rules for you!
                                  But, one can't have the best of both the worlds. And since my parents weren't about to turn into overprotective monsters overnight, I decided to make rules for myself. I got the first taste of a disciplined lifestyle while I was doing my first internship. I used to wake up at 5 a.m., make my pre-workout meal and lunch, workout for an hour or so, come home and make my breakfast, catch the 8:50 Volvo, read the morning newspaper on my way to work, work till at least 8 p.m., come home back and make my dinner, watch TV while having dinner, put my facepack on and go to bed. I went out with friends during weekends but I didn't drink or eat out more than once in a month. I also made it a point to note down one stimulating thought every month. I continued this lifestyle during my next internship despite going through a very emotionally difficult time. And I'm back to the same lifestyle now that I'm working(the only concession being a maid for making the dinner, thanks to the salary at the end of the month). And I can't tell you how satisfied and rejuvenated it leaves me! There's a certain feel good factor associated with sticking to a routine and it helps me fight all the frustration in my personal life. There are days when I don't cry just because I'm supposed to be arranging my fresh clothes from laundry at that point of time as per my routine. And pushing the tears away for the sake of something more important makes them go away at least for the day and I couldn't have been more thankful for that!
                                                             Speaking of being thankful, I wish there were a single person to thank for the emergence of maxi dresses and skirts. They are an absolute life-saver and I absolutely can't do without them! They are chic, comfortable and super stylish! What more could a girl ask for? Yes, a phaatugraphaar to capture them in their maxi-mum glory but then, I have even that! I truly am a lucky girl!
Maxi skirt- Jabong, dress(worn as a blouse)-B.K.Market, gladiators- Metro Plaza, cuff- New Market, rings- B.K.Market and Park Street, sling- Simpark Mall

Friday, 15 August 2014

Being truly independent...

Independence is easily one of the most abused words in today's world. We use it to justify literally everything we do(or don't)in our daily lives. While saying hurtful things to others, hurting someone else's sentiments, harming animals or nature aren't things that we should do just because we are capable of doing them, everyone should know what being independent means for them. As a woman, the only aspect of independence that had been emphasized to me throughout my life was financial independence. Coming from a family where most of the women had to ask for money from their husbands even if they wanted to buy their children a candy, the women in our family, specially my mother, always wanted to make sure that I don't commit the same mistake that they had, years back. I've a job today that pays enough to cover my expenses and maybe a little luxury every once in a while but am I independent? Definitely not. I still freak out if I have to book my tickets, go to the bank, talk to the bored and hostile officials sitting at various Government offices,kill cockroaches and spiders, move my furniture around and so on and so forth. There are a hundred tasks required in our daily lives that I'm not good at. Therefore, I depend on my near and dear ones to do these for me. So, despite being financially independent, I'm definitely not independent in its true sense. Also, should we call someone independent if they have a job but only because others forced them into it and given a choice, they'd rather pursue their hobbies that didn't pay? This is an issue that one of my all time favourite bloggers Tanvii brought to my notice for the first time. Pursuing or not pursuing a so called career should be a conscious choice for all of us. And the decision to take care of the household instead of sitting at a cubicle in front of a computer deserves an equal amount of respect because we should have the freedom to choose whether we want to be employed or not. Ever since I started looking at things this way, my approach towards the so called housewives has changed drastically.
                                                    There's another aspect to independence that we often choose not to explore. Being a citizen of a free country means we have the right to take personal decisions until and unless our decisions go against the law of the land. Yet, how many of us are brave enough to embrace our true sexuality? How many of us are comfortable talking about their curiosity towards everything sexual during our adolescent years? Our body is a mystery on its own and not acknowledging its complex behaviours only shows our desperation to run away from the truth and nothing else. Calling a broom anything other than a broom won't change its true identity. Likewise, if parents choose to have an open discussion about the sexual curiosity accompanied with adolescence, many of the unhealthy sexual habits people grow as teenagers can be prevented. Topics like masturbation, unprotected sex, sodomy, homosexuality, incest, erotic fetishes and BDSM(to name a few) should be clearly discussed with teenagers instead of leaving it to their imagination. And who can be a better teacher for a child than his/her parents? I, for one, was always very clear and vocal about my body and its desires and considered myself sexually independent. However, despite my best attempts, any discussion with the elders regarding this always ended in a fight. I used to take things personally even five years back. These days, I'm wise enough to come out of the discussion after giving them the required information instead of turning it into a nasty fight. But the scores of homosexuals trapped in heterosexual marriages or forced to live a life of tired loneliness tell a different story.
                                                              So, this independence day, instead of hoisting another national flag and singing the national anthem once more, think about what true independence means to you. List down ten things you'd have done had there been no societal rules and no inhibitions. Then ask yourself why you aren't doing those. I'm pretty sure there'd be at least five things that you can do any day if you stop being so afraid. And if all of us end up doing five such things every year, we'd know that we are heading towards a truly independent country.

And now, say 'hi' to one of the most independent girls I've ever known! If you have been following ze blog for a while,Anu is no stranger to you. She happens to be the best and most inspiring fashion designer, a surprisingly observant amateur photographer, a celeb content writer, the most dedicated fashion blogger and my greatest source of inspiration. She has always lived life on her own terms. She has never done one of those so called rebellious things, true but she has broken almost every rule our society tries to impose on women in her own way. Studying Fashion Designing despite being a Science student(I'm sure the prospective doctors and engineers spared her no sneer), quitting her job to start her own brand, not succumbing to peer pressure, continuing with equal jest even when her dreams didn't exactly find wings to fly...I can talk about how she inspires me all day long! So, what better time to show you how she breaks the myth of not being able to be cool in ethnic wear? She rocks it and how!
Tunic- Max, leggings- Shoppers Stop, chappals- Linking Road, Bandra, watch- Dresslily, ring-Dilli Haat, neckpiece- New Market

Wednesday, 6 August 2014

The wanderer's musings

The wind on my shoulder,
the aching muscles ponder,
was love a blunder?

After a hectic trip to Mumbai-Indore-Gandhidham-Mumbai, I'm back home! Home is where the heart is but home is also where my favourite phuchkawala resides. Home is where I can smell the festive spirits a little more with every passing day. Life is anything but what I had expected it to be. Getting paid is kinda cool but doing things that one hates to no end in order to get that money pretty much sucks. Meanwhile, I'm busy trying to remove the layers of charcoal from my skin, thanks to the purposeless plant visits and shopping for PUJO! The past one month hasn't been easy and hardships won't slow down before at least three more months. My body is close to giving up and I haven't been this sick in years! But I'm also trying to focus on whatever positives I happen to have in my life. And the memory of this day is one of those. And the theme Roaring 20s of course helped. Let the pictures do the rest of the talking while I cuddle up under the sheets with a book.
Maxi dress, kolhapuri- Emami, bag- New Market, neckpiece(worn as a headgear)- Chandrani Pearls

Picture and hair Courtesy- Anu