All the characters are strictly fictitious

'I should've never lied in the first place.',she thought.She's been having illusions all week-sometimes she feels that he has come back,sometimes she sees him dead,sometimes she sees him turning into a corpse and dragging her to death too.She's sick.She needs help.She knows that.But it's just such a personal story that she doesn't feel like sharing with anyone!What if they don't understand?What if they blame him?Life goes on as usual.She goes to school,takes down notes,mugs them up,listens to John Mayer on her way home,waves to the other people,buys a bagel from the local bakery,finishes it in exactly twelve minutes,checks for bad breath,does her home works,sits in front of the TV,finishes her dinner but she never sleeps.She sticks to her routine religiously because she's afraid that it's the only thing to fight the loneliness and more importantly,the chill she feels all the time,and then the numbness,as if her heart has stopped beating.She keeps convincing herself that she's alive.But then she can't forgive herself for being alive.She has no right to be alive.She led him on,lied to him,made him fall in love with her and then left him to die.And all the while,she thought she was doing the right thing.Sometimes,she whispers to him in bed,'I don't deserve you.You were a fool for not getting it.And I lied to you,A LOT!Would you like to hear the truth?Let's see if you can still love me.',she challenges him.But that's the time his face starts to fade away.She feels so guilty!She owed it to him-the truth.He should've known that she was living a lie.She washes her hands everyday but she can still smell blood.The stench just never goes away.Death is like a tiger,looking for a prey and it never leaves until it gets what it wants.People try to escape but it's only a matter of time before it finds them.People just don't understand that it's much easier if they just give in.All the warm up makes it just a little more cruel.