AHOY,MEN,STILL REMEMBER MY PROMISE,DO YOU REMEMBER YOURS?

I’ve been getting complaints from various sources that my blog is too ‘girlie’ and most of the time, I talk about nothing more than my nail paints. So, this post is dedicated to all those who wanted this space to be more manly, all those who used the feminine side of my blog to skip reading and still claim to be my friend, all those who turned up in college wearing floaters and sweat pants or something equally disastrous. I know very little about male fashion apart from Rajesh Pratap Singh, Raghavendra Rathore  and Sharbari Datta. So, I’m freaking nervous. As this is a start, I’m not gonna get overambitious. I’d rather keep things simple and basic. The problem with men is that whenever they’ve a hard time acquiring a skill, they term it as ‘girlie’ or ‘stupid’. I had friends in school who used to smoke more than ten cigarettes on the night before exam because they had to ‘study’. I always told them that we girls’re studying the same syllabus and we’ll be getting the same question paper. There’ll be no reservations(or ‘quotas’ if you please) for us. If we can study without getting high on nicotine, so can you. You just chose not to. Then there’re those men treating the streets like the public urinal. I always asked them that if women can control their urge to urinate any time, any where, why can’t they? There’s probably no special technique involved with the structure of female bladder. Then there’re moms who teach their baby boys to remove their shirts and trousers as soon as they reach a relative’s place and wear a pair of shorts that’ll serve as both the underwear and the shorts(and it’s a habit those ‘baby boys’ will adhere to even after they’re grown up). The same moms will slap their daughters if they want to wear a bikini because being a ‘girl’, you should always be ‘covered’. Ironic, isn’t it? Ditto goes with fashion. Most of the men don’t understand fashion. What the heck? They haven’t discovered shoes yet, let alone dressing sense! And as usual, just because they don’t understand it, it’s not art, it’s ‘a wastage of money’ and ‘stupid’ and ‘girlie’! Anyway, my point here isn’t picking up a fight with men(though I know I’m really good at that), I’m here to give tips to men on how to be presentable. Can you imagine? My grandfather’d have been so proud of me! LOL!

Anyway, let’s come to the point.

#1)WHITE SHIRT-This is something I swear by. I kinda have a thing for men’s white shirts. And that’s probably one of the secret reasons of my current relationship status(It’s single, if you’re that curious). Waking up the morning after sex, slipping into your boyfriend’s oversized white shirt and YOUR boxers, making tea and having breakfast in bed…Ooh, these’re the stuff my dreams’re made of. Get one with no prints, no patterns, no stripes. Simple white, as clutter-free as it gets.You got a crisp white shirt, you got a Soumi in your pants, dude! :P

#2)Khaki shorts-For those who’re a little surprised if I got the ordering right or not, I’m perfectly fine. I’m as much a fan of Khaki shorts as I’m of White shirts. They both’re comfortable, classic and super stylish. But unlike the shirts,I think I’d like to wear my own shorts only, not my boyfriend’s. I’m not really a fan of the very short ones. Get a mid-length one, with pockets. You can either wear it with your easy breezy White shirt, tucked in or polo necked tees. But please try to keep prints as far as possible.

#3)Suit up-Yes, I’m a big fan of Barney Stinson(and his suits) and I’d have probably lost my virginity to Neal Patrick Harris had he not been gay.*Sigh*

Coming back to suits, get as many as you can. Black and white is the classic combo. But you could also try blue and white, white and purple, steel grey and white and what not.This is one area where nothing but floral prints can go wrong. And DON’T FORGET THE TIE.

#4)No smelly undies-Bad news, boys. As much as you love wearing the same undies for weeks and make your dorm rooms a safe(and stinky) place just with the help of the smelly socks and undies, it won’t help you get lucky anywhere else. Clean up! Get a pedicure, use moisturizer, wash your hair and wash your undies too! It’s so damn disgusting, trust me! And try colors other than powder blue, red or yellow ochre while buying them. Seriously, are you people color-blind?

#5)Wear shoes-Lemme teach you something, boys. Whoever taught you that shoes were discovered to cover your feet, was a liar. Most of you people assumed that if you’d cover your feet with newspapers or rags, you’d be wearing shoes. There’s actually something called Leather which is super sexy and lends its name to shiny shoes. You need money to buy them and then you bring them home and WEAR them! As simple as that!

With that, I hope I’ll get to see better dressed men in college when our campus interviews start next month. Rumor has it that the dates’ll be somewhere around 12^th Sept. So, readers, please don’t judge me if I’m not able to post regularly. It’s not that I don’t miss you, I just can’t do anything about it. Love.

                                                                                 Soumi.