APOLOGETIC?NOT REALLY!

I don't know if you're the type to get into a huge fight today and then hug and cry it out the next day but I'm the one who,once considers someone as friend,will try to adjust with every wrong doing of hers and try to see it in a positive way until it crosses a limit where I can't take it any more.Then I'll go all out and never see them again.Making up is the hardest thing for me.I'm either nice or a bitch.I saw a long lost ex-best friend/current enemy the other day.We travel on the same route.So,we keep bumping into each other time and again.But being the social outcast I've always been,it doesn't really bother me any more.There was a time when I wanted the earth to part as soon as I saw any of the persons I was not on talking terms with,in true Sita-style.But over the years,the number of those people have increased considerably.So,I've learned to live with it,just like my pot-belly or super blunt nose.But that confrontation was pretty disturbing.I had been really fond of her once upon a time.But we were never friends,at least I can see that now.I was more of her accomplice,saying 'yes' to her 'yes',always complimenting her on everything.We didn't have the honesty in our friendship to disagree and still respect the other person's point of view.When she tried to sort things out,I was totally taken aback.I walked out on her but she later sent me a message on facebook,thereby completing her statement.Only then I realized that we can never be friends again.The person we had fought over doesn't exist any more(at least not in my life)and to be honest,I've forgiven him for whatever he has done to me but forgiving a friend isn't so easy.When the damage is done and you move on,is an apology enough to make things like before?In my case,sadly the answer is 'no'.My heart was broken so badly that I've not been able to recover totally ever since.I don't want to take the risk once again.And once I can't trust a person,I'm done with them. I've had bad friends.I've been a bad friend to a few people too.But I've always felt that once broken,a relationship can never be mended.Because,it'll be worse this time.The flaws'll seem bigger,the fights'll be nastier and you'll curse yourself every single minute for patching up.Whoever said that 'sorry' is just a five-letter word,couldn't have been more correct.