NOT DONE YET...

A quick post to say that I've not disappeared.Something was wrong with bloggers yesterday.Only my pictures got posted,my texts didn't.I don't know why.Okay,I'll 'officially' be an Engineer(that too in Computer Science only)after April.Go,sue me!Who cares?Anyway,back to the point,I'm just busy searching my super cute and very,very intelligent verbal teacher online.Just got to know his last name today.Needed a lot of courage to ask.So,if any of you happen to have a Sanket Chowkidar from Kolkata(working at IMS)in your friend list,please let me know.How would you know it's the same Sanket I'm talking about?He's really into UCB tees and wears a branded but worn out pair of sports shoes all the time!And he's fair(FIY,I'd have preferred him darker and tougher),with pink lips and all,and very soft-spoken.

GIMME RED!

I just discovered a positive side of having bad days-having more bad days(and weeks and months)means going on more shopping splurges!So,thanks to all the frustrations going on in here,I went shopping again!Though this time,I had a perfectly justifiable excuse to-it's my didi's b'day tomorrow!I had bought a gift for her long back but it didn't work out.So,I went to buy something else for her today.And I had an exam from 5 p.m.So,a little de-stressing doesn't hurt,right?Here's the bag I bought for her,it's so damn gorgeous that couldn't help clicking a few pictures!Guess I'm slowly becoming notorious for using gifts before giving them away for once and for all.You remember Moumita's sling here(that I posed with before giving it to her),don't you?So,you probably won't be surprised to know that I made my chair pose with this bag.I love the happy crimson,totally perks my shabby room up!

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You know me,the shopaholic by now,I guess.

So,no wonder I bought a few things for myself too.A ruffled top and a pair of shorts came home in my backpack(yeah,I had a dance class which I ditched,so,obviously I was carrying a heavy salwaar kameez and ghoongroos,so,I had to carry a backpack).And for the first time,I actually found the corn-spring onion momo at the 'Wow Momo' stall!Every time I go to a 'Wow Momo' outlet,they run out of corn-spring onion momos!I've been chasing this one for a few months now!The search finally ended.And it wasn't that great actually if you ask me.For vegetarians,the mushroom momo is much much better!And if you're looking for cheaper options,even paneer momo is better than this one!And the chicken,fish,prawn momos are always there toh!Another failed attempt to find the perfect white shirt resulted in me buying a not-so-perfect white shirt again!But more on that later.And last but not the least,our college'll have its first fest since 2004 this year!Yay!So,stay tuned for more pictures.Till then,happy reading!

P.S.If you'd rather like a depression-heavy post and some info about what had been bothering me for the past few weeks(not to suggest that I'm over it now)tha the happy(and shallow)posts,do mention it in your comment.If I find more than one people interested in my depression talk,I might actually share it with you(though I personally don't believe in promoting my petty issues and bothering everyone under the sun with my daily tear count updates.I learnt this very valuable lesson from Tanvi,one of my blogging idols),who knows?

Rain,rain,come again!

And finally, it’s here! And I’m lost! Okay, I might be a rain freak but only when I’m indoors. All those ‘cuddle under your sheets, have khichudi, pakodas and steaming cups of chai, read your favorite detective/romantic novel or watch your favorite movie and if nothing else works, just sit by the window and watch the rain’ plans’re great but the worries regarding what to wear and how to avoid the mud picnic on your clothes and shoes dampen much of the spirit. Rainy season(that’s how they taught me to call it in school)is THE worst dressed-down phase of my year, probably slightly better than only my exam time dressing down. I’ve largely avoided getting out on such days and whenever I had to,I just slipped into torn denims or old capris or shorts, worn-out tees and flip flops. But thanks to the monsoon post on Fashion Bombay, I gave it a second thought. Besides, this year, I’m having such crazy schedules that it’s becoming more and more difficult to avoid getting out on such days, if not impossible. To make it worse, most of the time, the heavy pouring starts a good fifteen minutes after I get out of my place. So, most of the days, I go out wearing my white blouses with cute pumps and ankle-length trousers and carry my patent leather bag because it ‘seems’ to be a rather sunny day and voila, as soon as I get into the autorickshaw, it starts raining! As a result, when I reach college/tuition/studio or anywhere else I’m supposed to go to, not only am I drenched ,my shoes’re covered with black grainy muds, my blouses’re wet and are clinging to my body(and it’s not even sexy!)and my trousers also have mud stains all over them. So, I thought there gotta be a way out. And I reshuffled my wardrobe and found some cute jersey tops and all purpose tees(though most of them look five-years old, thanks to all the sweating happening inside the dance studios).I’m also gonna buy a few very practical pair of stappy waterproof shoes and crocs in yummy candy colors. I’ve never been a huge crocs fan. My friend Moumita swears by them but I always thought they were just too casual and I got an infection once or twice because of wearing the cheap variety. But I never realized that if I think crocs’re too lazy, flip flops’re even more! So, on any given day, crocs’re better than flip flops. So, the basic code remains same for me-

#1)no ankle length stuff-

cropped trousers’re great for semi-formal occasions, shorts’re perfect for casual day outs. A precious tip about shorts-I had always thought the shorter, the sexier but after seeing Jasleen’s grey knee length shorts here, I’m so obsessed with longer shorts! They SPELL OUT   boho chic! A pair in khaki and another one in steel grey are on the top of my list.

#2)Only bright colors.

 No grey, black, whites for me in this time of the year. Yellow, pink, aqua blue, parrot green-the brighter, the better.

#3)Comfort scores high, always.

And this is one golden rule I stick to, even during the other seasons too! I never wear something if I’m not comfortable in it. And in monsoons, all these water, dirt and mud make it even more important. Trust me, you DO NOT look cool in your sky high heels if you trip. So, no dangerous necklines, no uncomfortably clingy fabric, no ‘too short’ hemlines that I might’ve tried out during Winter or Summer and last but not the least, NO HEELS!

P.S.

There’s something about Kolkata’s rain that makes me melancholic ,makes me want to keep to myself and do nothing .I won’t say it ruins my mood but it doesn’t cheer me up either. I tend to be in an oddly silent mood during this time and this year,Moumita took the responsibility to make me see rain like a normal person, not a weirdo depression freak lost in the complexities of her own messy life(not exactly her words but almost).And I gotta admit it was kind of fun. Getting wet, wearing shit shoes, splattering water all around, having ‘kala khatta gola’ and then sneezing like a frog and finally, warming up with some piping hot momos…Pretty awesome, no? This is pretty much the last memory she left me with before leaving for Hyderabad(apart from her b’day bash, that is). Had some random pictures. Thought would share.

And stop staring at my tummy,you pervs! Yes,I'm 'blessed' or maybe 'overblessed' with curves,so what?

My apology to all the veggies but I still am one of you!

It's been a long time since I shared a recipe here.I'm known for my extraordinary love for all things vegan in college but I took a little liberty this Sunday.My mom wasn't feeling well and my project work-cum-adda appointment at a friend's place got postponed because another friend wasn't feeling well.So,I thought,why not try out tonight's dinner?I've not cooked for a long time and who knows?Might feel good for a change!And sure as hell it did.We had two days old chicken in the freezer and absolutely nothing to make a spicy chicken curry my dad loves so much!So,I decided to make a mean 'Chicken Posto' instead.Baba was furious because first of all,he isn't a big fan of 'Posto'(Poppy seeds)and he loves his chicken fiery.But I'm one hard nut to crack.Long story short,I made the 'Chicken Posto' and baba asked for two extra helpings!Life's sweet,isn't it?Thought I'd share the recipe.
Ingredients

Chicken- thoroughly washed and cleaned,preferably leg pieces with fat
Poppy seeds-half the amount of chicken
Yogurt-100 gms
Green chillies-4,slit
Coriander leaves-a handful
Cumin powder-one teaspoon
Coriander powder-one tablespoon
Cashew nuts-fifty gms,finely pasted
Bay leaves-one or two
Salt-to taste
Sugar-to taste
Garam masala powder-a pinch
Onion-two,chopped coarsely
Ginger paste-one teaspoon
Vegetable oil or Mustard oil
Turmeric powder(optional,I used it because the very idea of chicken looking white turns my baba off)
Lime juice-one teaspoon and lime wedges(for garnishing)

Procedure

Make a fine paste with the poppy seeds(It should be neither too thick nor too watery).Beat the yogurt,adding a little water from time to time until smooth.Marinate the chicken pieces in the poppy seed paste,yogurt,cashew nuts paste and ginger paste for two hours(You could marinate for as many hours as you wish,it'd only enrich the taste,making sure that the marinades went in,I had to take it out after two hours because I was hungry!LOL!).Heat two tablespoons of oil in a pan,add the slit green chillies and fry for a minute.Now add the onions and stir fry until transparent.Now add the cumin powder,coriander powder,bay leaves and turmeric powder and fry until the masala separates from the oil.Now add the chicken and saute well for at least twenty minutes,adding a little water when it gets too dry.Add salt and sugar to taste.Just before removing from the pan,add the Garam Masala Powder.Sprinkle chopped coriander leaves and add the lime juice before serving with steamed rice.Garnish with lime wedges(optional).It goes equally well with all kinds of pulao.

AH,LIFE’S GOOD AGAIN!

My sincere apology to all of you for boring you with my depression talk throughout the whole week. Turns out my depression was perfectly curable with the help of a little retail therapy. Not that I didn’t know it all along,just wasn’t finding time to go shopping(crazy,right?Who needs ‘time’ for shopping?And I’m so not proud of saying it!).So,finally,I ditched college this Friday and went out doing what I do whenever I’ve an ugly break up or my grades don’t exactly cheer me up or I can’t pick up a step-SHOPPING!And trust me,it was totally worth the two hour extra journey I had to take in order to reach the rehearsal studio from there.Thank you for asking,but as you might’ve noticed,I’ve been having a really tough time cash-wise,thanks to all my friends who had to come to the world around this time only,I didn’t buy much.But who says you’ve to be rich to experience the divine pleasure called SHOPPING?Window-shopping never hurts,right?And in addition to that,it doesn’t burn a hole in your pocket!After strolling past Shreeram Arcade and Old New Market building,I found this baby in Simpark Mall that I simply couldn’t resist.The baby here was an absolutely gorgeous sling.The moment I set my eyes on her,I just knew that it was mine and I had to take it home.The shopkeeper won’t let it go for anything less than 795 bucks but after promising him four more customers,reminding him of my past purchases from here in the past three months or so and most importantly,let him touch my back and have my phone no.(yes,I can stoop down that far and not be ashamed of it too),I closed the deal at 500!And as I felt its smooth fabric caressing my hands while going into my bag,I shivered.I paid for it and went out after,wait-for-it,giving the nagging shopkeeper a free hug!I can still feel his smelling tee but one look at the sling,and it doesn’t bother me as much.Next I bought a ‘jhola’ from the stretch in front of the Hogg Market and though the heat and sweat were getting unbearable,the bargaining was much easier than the previous one.Then I had to buy some essentials,like a pack of tissues,a good ol’ black nail paint(yes,after trying various shades of green,yellow,pink,blue,red and white,I’m going back to black,almost after two years),a few bangles,a headband,nail clippers and cuticle cream.At the risk of almost crossing my budget limit,I finally swore of my mom(she’s the person I love most in this world)and promised myself not to buy anything more for that day.Then I went to ‘Wow momo’ and gulped down a plate of steaming hot Chicken Capsicum momo(with a generous helping of those

fiery chutneys)and left for my rehearsal studio at Circus Avenue.Took a few pictures with the new ‘jhola’ the very next day,thought I should share.

P.S.I know this lollipop look is so dated but I’m simply in love with these lycra churidars!Just can’t live without them!

DOWN THE MEMORY LANES

A few days earlier,I came across this fantastic post by Poulami here and I was so inspired that I decided right there,right then to do a similar post(or maybe not-so-similar) over here.All throughout my early teens,I've been an avid romantic-growing up on Shakespeare,Thomas Hardy,Erich Segal,James Frey,George Orwell and back home,Saratchandra Chattapadhdhay.I had always believed that a romance can't be true until it is tinged with the pain of separation.I found a weird,almost morbid pleasure in shedding tears or hurting myself.I've not been the luckiest person as far as relationships're concerned but all my ugly relationships've had their fair share of beautiful moments-sharing a cone sitting on the stairs of a crappy movie theater,walking in the rains with hand in hand,fighting over a week and then breaking down as soon as he said those three magical words,eating molten chocolates off his hand,sitting by the 'Gangar ghat' and watching the sun going to sleep(Yes,that's what my mom had told me)...While I might not be in touch with the persons concerned,I still cherish all these golden memories.It doesn't bother me that the dreams we had dreamed together as 'we',don't exist any more because 'we' are history.Just remembering the excitement of going for a date in secret or whispering to him on the phone from my dad's bedroom,the thrill of waving to him from the school bus-these're enough to make me fall in love with life again.Maybe I can't control a drop or two of my 'precious' tears,but I can assure you that it's totally worth it.I've never believed that a relationship ends as soon as the two people break up,that's merely a start for me.But to forget what you had in between,that's abusing the relationship.For any peculiar reason,I've been thinking of my past relationships a lot over this week.And as much as I hate to admit it,I've been also wondering like 'If it hadn't happened,maybe we'd have been still together','If his mom hadn't tried to make my life a living hell,maybe we'd have been still dating','Am I still in love with him?' or 'Was getting back together a really bad idea?'...You see,a relationship,much like love,is irreversible.It always leaves a mark on your life which,no matter how hard you try,you'll never be able to erase totally.It's like that stain of blood you get on your vases after murdering someone for self defense and then hiding the body behind your house.They have this irritating habit of showing up only when you don't want them to.The scars of a past relationship also catch you off guard,just when you're at your most vulnerable state.Might be a song you've a special memory of,a place you've a painful memory associated with or simply an old friend who is still to know that you two're not together any more.But moving on doesn't always mean burning pictures or letters,deleting contacts from your phone or abusing the person in your breath throughout the whole day.It only makes you angrier and therefore,more fragile.Chances are there that the very moment you're busy doing any of these things,if he comes and hugs you tightly,you two might end up in a passionate kiss.'Attaining closure' is very important.Well,I've not been able to attain it yet,let me know if you ever can.I'll be all ears!And till then,please don't judge me for gaining a few kilos,thanks to all these roadside Biryanis,rolls,kebabs and LOADS and LOADS of chocolate because I really am having a bad week.

ALWAYS,ALWAYS,ALWAYS A FIRST RUNNER UP

As I always say,my blog isn't about lucky fairytale characters because I myself am not one of them,I never was,I never will be.I love many things-reading,dancing,shopping,cooking,writing...I'm a (wo)man of varied tastes.But no matter what,I've never been 'the best' in anything.Far worse,I've always been pretty close to 'the worst' or 'the second worst'.Life's been hard.All through the school,I've been either laughed at for being a loser or hated for reading more trashy magazines than my course books.I used to go to a Maths teacher back in my early teens.I hated his pot belly,hairy knuckles,bad breath,slaps(that he used to give me pretty often),cigarettes(that he used to smoke after every ten minutes)but he had told me something very valuable and true-always try to be either the best or the worst.Nobody in between will be remembered.He surely wasn't the one to have invented it,he was just the first person to have told me this.I've always been on the heavier side(to put it politely) and as a result of that,my clothes have never received the kind of attention they should've had.I could never wear the clothes I wanted to.I used to manage decent scores in all subjects but never got the highest marks in any.I love dancing.Till now,fortunately,I've not faced any embarrassing situation in the various Kathak classes I've been to but my western,boy oh boy!I love contemporary.It's such a bodily dance form and I really feel the steps but my body never cooperates.As a result,there're times when I'm the only one in the class not being able to do a split or flip the choreography requires us to do.I've had crushes on many hotties(or not-so-hotties because,for me,intelligence is a big turn on)but they never bothered to look at me twice.I've always had the prettiest or the most popular girl as my best friend.As a result,I was always overshadowed by her personality.So,most of the men who proposed me did so because they dared not go and approach my best friend.For me,being the underdog comes easy because I've always been one.But being a back-up person,the one nobody really cares for,the one nobody invites to the movies or lunches,the one nobody includes in their plans,the one nobody talks to if not being talked to,the universal second fiddle-no,it's not easy,it's as hard as it sounds.Even in my family,I've never been the front row girl.And I guess I've grown so used to standing behind other people that it doesn't bother me any more.Last line or last bench is where I feel at home.I had a pretty rough day today.Turns out I've got labs on both thurs and sat.Now,those who're not really accustomed to my routine,I've my contemporary dance class on thurs and I go to IMS for CAT tuitions on sat.I love both to death.After a not-so-great J2EE class and an even worse rehearsal(where I was the only reason for which everybody else had to do the same steps for hours),while I was on my way home,I realized that I was fighting a lost battle.My life is something that was never meant to be.I might be God's worst hangover.But big guy was drunk enough to inject into me something that I hardly have any use for-never dying spirit.That's me.I just don't know how to give up.I keep on trying-with disastrous results often but I never say 'no' until it's over.With my success rate,my life'd have been probably easier had I been someone to easily accept my defeat and fade away gracefully.Maybe fighter attitudes look glamorous only when the final result is positive.In my case,people just term me stubborn and good-for-nothing snob.My mom sometimes says that I'm such a failure because I've never learned to respect people.But respect can't be forced,no?I can't respect someone just because they've seen the world for a couple of years more than I've.We hardly have any choice over our birthdays,have we?And now,seriously,I'm lost because I don't find any particular topic in what I've written till now and I was writing just because I was raging in fury and even after trying a lot,I couldn't cry.Tears're not always a wipe away.But now that I've actually started to calm down a bit and read the things I've written,I'm seeing that half of them don't make any sense.But still I didn't delete them because this is the only place where I can write my heart out and nobody'll judge me(or so I hope but criticisms're more than welcome)and that's what makes this place is so special for me!Stupid or plain emotional?That's up to you to decide.I'll sign off now.

P.S.tomorrow might be my last day in the green nail paints I've been living in for months.After various shades of yellow,blue,pink and green,I'm going back to good ol' black days again.Thought I should give them a proper farewell.I owe it to them,they've served me well.So,I took some random pictures of them and of things that keep me going,even in my darkest days,in the comfortable closure of my room.There're more like my fav books,the pillows I've been using for nearly twenty years,my balcony and many more.These're just starters.And notice how weird my fingers're!My God!ROFL!

BEGGED,BORROWED,STOLE...

My parents always used to tell me that I'd realize the worth of money the day I'd start earning.But they were proved wrong once I joined college and started giving tuitions.That's because my mom was always happy to chip in.I discovered on 6th july,2011 that 'running short of money' is what I needed for so long to understand what it's worth.I was supposed to sit for one of these SIMCAT things that day(Sheer madness,worth absolutely nothing if you ask me)at 10 a.m.But thanks to my 'computer skills',turns out that my registration wasn't valid and I couldn't sit for that slot.The IMS people booked a seat for me from 6:45 to 9 p.m. schedule.With my rehearsal from 4 p.m. and nothing to do in between,I went to Metro Plaza and shopped my pants off(literally!).When I was about to get out of there,I had 32 bucks in my wallet and I was still supposed to have my lunch,go to A.J.C.Bose Road from Maidan and then again go to Saltlake for that stupid test and then return home.Going to A.J.C Bose Road by Metro would've cost me 12 bucks(Metro and then bus,that is) and if I went to Sealdah Prachi by bus,and then take another bus to Mallickbazaar,I could manage it within 10 bucks.Given my dislike(to put it politely)for bus,it was a tough call but I decided to go with the latter option.Then,I hunted down the whole Park Street for rolls worth 10 bucks or less because I'd be needing another 12 bucks for going to Saltlake and ended up discovering a small dosa place which was pretty awesome.For the fact,yours truly discovered rolls worth 10 bucks too but dosa seemed to be a more filling option.After 'lunch' and a pretty exhausting rehearsal,I finally managed to get to Saltlake with the remaining 12 bucks,much to my surprise!I was late though but that had nothing to do with my budget.Want to know what I ended up buying?A jumpsuit(that I had actually paid the advances for because I had liked it another day and didn't want to lose it but at the same time,I didn't have enough money to buy it that day),a pretty expensive shrug,a pure leather wallet and now comes the most predictable part for all those who know me well-a pair of shoes!But this time I settled for a leather thong only.Didn't go overboard.Given my obsession with shoes,buying only one pair is quite an achievement for me,no?Fun fact,because I wasn't sure if I'd be able to get back home with my 32 bucks,I called my mom and asked her to ask baba to come over.I couldn't explain the reason to her at that time(quite understandable,no?Kidnappers won't really allow me to make a call to home without asking for ransom,would they?) and she ended up thinking that I was being followed by someone and I couldn't say it on phone.So,she got super paranoid and had a fight with baba.LOL!I'm mean,I know.But you got to agree,I'm a little unlucky too.

P.S.say 'hello' to the absolutely gorgeous sling that I had bought from Simpark mall.I had bought it for a friend's b'day but I couldn't help taking the liberty to pose with it before packing it with a tacky purple gift wrap paper.I'll buy one soon for myself too.Just not finding the perfect one.Oh,and by the way,since I don't find most of the lawyers or cops sexy and want to keep a distance from them always,a legal feud over the title is the last thing I'd want in the coming months.So,the credit of the title goes to UTV Bindaas.I was just 'inspired' from their reality/travel show.Catch it every fri on 8 p.m.Aliyah is super cool and everything I've always wanted to be.She doesn't really wear stuff off the runway on this show but even I won't bother if my shoes're going with my harem pant if I'm put into a situation like her.

APOLOGETIC?NOT REALLY!

I don't know if you're the type to get into a huge fight today and then hug and cry it out the next day but I'm the one who,once considers someone as friend,will try to adjust with every wrong doing of hers and try to see it in a positive way until it crosses a limit where I can't take it any more.Then I'll go all out and never see them again.Making up is the hardest thing for me.I'm either nice or a bitch.I saw a long lost ex-best friend/current enemy the other day.We travel on the same route.So,we keep bumping into each other time and again.But being the social outcast I've always been,it doesn't really bother me any more.There was a time when I wanted the earth to part as soon as I saw any of the persons I was not on talking terms with,in true Sita-style.But over the years,the number of those people have increased considerably.So,I've learned to live with it,just like my pot-belly or super blunt nose.But that confrontation was pretty disturbing.I had been really fond of her once upon a time.But we were never friends,at least I can see that now.I was more of her accomplice,saying 'yes' to her 'yes',always complimenting her on everything.We didn't have the honesty in our friendship to disagree and still respect the other person's point of view.When she tried to sort things out,I was totally taken aback.I walked out on her but she later sent me a message on facebook,thereby completing her statement.Only then I realized that we can never be friends again.The person we had fought over doesn't exist any more(at least not in my life)and to be honest,I've forgiven him for whatever he has done to me but forgiving a friend isn't so easy.When the damage is done and you move on,is an apology enough to make things like before?In my case,sadly the answer is 'no'.My heart was broken so badly that I've not been able to recover totally ever since.I don't want to take the risk once again.And once I can't trust a person,I'm done with them. I've had bad friends.I've been a bad friend to a few people too.But I've always felt that once broken,a relationship can never be mended.Because,it'll be worse this time.The flaws'll seem bigger,the fights'll be nastier and you'll curse yourself every single minute for patching up.Whoever said that 'sorry' is just a five-letter word,couldn't have been more correct.