THE C WORD

Have you ever had sweets meant for the 'pujas'(before the 'pujas',that is)?Have you ever had a drink behind your parents' back?Have you ever felt guilt along with thrill and secret pleasure?All of you probably have a positive answer to at least one of these questions.But if I ask you if you've ever cheated on your partner,most of you would say 'no'.There might be two possibilities-it might be a real 'no' or you might be too embarrassed to admit it.I've a problem with this word 'cheating'.What defines 'cheating on your partner'?Sleeping with someone else?Denying your relationship in front of others?Trashing your partner in front of your friends?Trying to seek emotional comfort in someone else's company?It doesn't have any fixed definition,does it?Some girls might consider healthy flirting a good option to save your relationship from boredom.Some might be horrified at the idea of his/her partner even stealing a glance at someone else.And now comes the delicate part-are all cheaters that bad as a person?Is cheating born out of situation or does it lie in the character of the person itself?Some argue that cheaters will be cheaters,irrespective of the situation you put them into.But I beg to differ.During my first relationship,I was as loyal as a cow(or you might make that a dog if that satisfies you more)but it ended up badly.He cheated on me several times,sometimes with my best friend,sometimes with my enemies,sometimes with other girls I didn't know.His parents humiliated me in every possible way.It took me a lot of time to get over him but when I finally started seeing another guy,I knew a part of me had died.I'll never be able to love someone as whole-heartedly as I had loved him.To be honest,I rushed into the second relationship just out of my desperation to move on.As a result,I ended up cheating on him.He gave me enough reasons to justify my act but I've never forgiven myself for doing the same thing to him that had broken my world once.The guy I cheated on him with,used me to cheat on his long-time girlfriend(who had actually talked her parents out of a marriage for this guy).Ironic,isn't it?I used to hate myself for a long time but before I knew it,I was dating a guy even though I had no feelings for him.He was loaded(though I never really let him spend money for me),he went to a good college,he was a good dancer...We had so much in common.If someone interviews me and then does a little research on him,he'd seem to be my perfect partner.But things didn't work between us.I dumped him through his friend,showing as insulting an excuse as possible.Then I found out that while I was busy thinking of less cruel ways to dump him,he was busy sleeping around with other girls.Yes,I've seen enough cheating in my life to last me for a decade,but were they all bad persons?I'd like to believe-'no'.I'm on talking terms with a few of them,with others,I don't even remember their faces.But I've forgiven them all.Because,I believe there's nothing called a 'born cheater'.A baby is always innocent,loyal,honest and truthful.When he grows up to be a bad man,it's our society that has shown him/her ugly things and told him/her that it's okay to do these things.He/she'll still get away with it.So,are they really to be blamed?Aren't they(at least some of them)just victims of situation?Shouldn't we rather go by the saying 'hate guilt,not the guilty'?