Unequal Role Perceptions

I was fifteen when I had told a friend that I want to be a single mother because "I don't want to share my baby with anyone else." I told her that I felt my mom was capable of doing everything that my dad does if she wants to but my dad can't do the same. So, I can imagine her bringing me up on her own but the idea of growing up with only my father scares the shit out of me. I also admitted that I like boys but I'm not sure about sharing things I love with them(chocolates and books being my obvious choice back then). My friend was horrified and even though she didn't tell me, I'm sure she thanked God for not being my daughter. A decade has passed but the story remains the same everywhere.

                                                                                                                        I'm not a staunch feminist. In fact, I have chosen to call myself "not a feminist" for at least the past five years. So, the idea of some people perceiving women as weak, fragile and dependent doesn't annoy me, it amuses me. Yes, I have seen women who always need someone to fall back on but I know for sure that I can bloody well protect my child in this big, bad world and provide for them as long as I have a job and I'm physically fit.

                    On a related note, I was reading an article the other day about male rape victims finding it difficult to share their pain and seek medical help because being raped isn't "manly" and trying to carry on with their so called normal life despite the regular bleeding and the pus-covered anus. A little more research on the same topic made me throw up and cry. I kept wondering what purpose such skewed role definitions of our society served other than alienating people and breaking their hearts. Putting your wife through indirect mental torture because she earns more than you do is as bad as leaving your husband because he is a rape victim. Forcing your son to go for Cricket coaching instead of Odissi classes is as bad as not letting your daughter go to school. When would we accept human beings as human beings? I see so many brave, intelligent, powerful women wasting all their energy on the eternal I-can-do-it-better-than-you fight with men instead of trying to find out what it is that they are originally good at and focus on being the best at that instead of always trying to be better than someone. If one always strives to be as good as someone at something, the person would never be able to rise beyond that someone. I should aim to be my best. If I end up being better than a few people in the process, that's only an added bonus. Is it that hard to achieve? I dream of a society where sex would be just as menial an information as someone's blood group on a form which is meant to be used only in case of emergency. I dream of a society that welcomes both a masculine woman and an effeminate man with an open embrace. I dream of a society where I won't be judged for being a single mother and my son won't be called names if he finds my aanchal comforting even after the age of eighteen. I dream of a society where I'd be a human being first and then a woman.

Maxi dress- Emami Market, cuff and rings- New Market, silver kolhapuri- Shreeram Arcade, lipstick- Orange Punch by Colorbar

Saree Saga '14- Part-I

Whoever said that celebration cannot overshadow the cause behind it should come and spend Durga Pujo in our city of joy. What must have started out as a solemn week of celebrating the victory of the Good over the Evil has turned out to be the ugliest form of commercialization these days. For most of my non-Bengali friends, this festival is synonymous to wearing sarees, visiting themed pandals, gorging on luchi-kosha mangsho-egg rolls-phuchka and junk of every other kind and of course, the customary bird-watching at Maddox Square. To be honest, my Pujo schedule doesn't deviate much from what I just stated but at times, I kind of miss those innocent days when Durga Pujo used to be about looking out of the windows of our classroom and getting lost into the 'shiuli' and 'kaash' flowers outside or squinting while trying to size up the clouds that looked like dispersed cotton balls. Growing up in a middle class family meant counting every hundred bucks and still running short of accessories to go with my new clothes. Themed pandals were very much in existence but I was lucky enough to experience the charm of traditional Pujos with 'ek chaala thhakur' and the beats of 'dhaak' during my childhood. But with 'shaarod shomman' s and packaged Pujo tours ending at Shobhabazaar Raaj-baari, we didn't even realize when the pure spirit of Pujo got lost in the midst of the glamorization.

                     But then, lamenting over the past would bring us nothing and I personally believe in moving on with the changing times. So, here I am- giving a tribute to our good ol' saree in my own way! I was supposed to be the proud owner of this saree by Howrah Bridge long back but somehow, it got delayed. But, as they say, better late than never! I've never felt sexier in a saree! And that's why I thought THE saree deserves to be the opening batsman in the saree series I've planned to do on ze blog. Enjoy the pictures while I go back to gorging on the bijoya sweets.

Saree, blouse- Howrah Bridge, earrings- New Market, ring, jeggings- B.K.Market, shoes- Metro Plaza, bindi- local shop, lipstick- MAT4 Bold Matte by Maybelline

Picture Credits-Debi( who has also been sweet enough to feature me on her blog; click on the link and read the post if you haven't already!)

P.S. This was my Navami/Dashami outfit. Stay tuned for more Pujo outfits and details of an awesome hill trip coming up! Till then, shubho bijoya to all of you and like I always say, keep it stylish.