Friday, 15 August 2014

Being truly independent...

Independence is easily one of the most abused words in today's world. We use it to justify literally everything we do(or don't)in our daily lives. While saying hurtful things to others, hurting someone else's sentiments, harming animals or nature aren't things that we should do just because we are capable of doing them, everyone should know what being independent means for them. As a woman, the only aspect of independence that had been emphasized to me throughout my life was financial independence. Coming from a family where most of the women had to ask for money from their husbands even if they wanted to buy their children a candy, the women in our family, specially my mother, always wanted to make sure that I don't commit the same mistake that they had, years back. I've a job today that pays enough to cover my expenses and maybe a little luxury every once in a while but am I independent? Definitely not. I still freak out if I have to book my tickets, go to the bank, talk to the bored and hostile officials sitting at various Government offices,kill cockroaches and spiders, move my furniture around and so on and so forth. There are a hundred tasks required in our daily lives that I'm not good at. Therefore, I depend on my near and dear ones to do these for me. So, despite being financially independent, I'm definitely not independent in its true sense. Also, should we call someone independent if they have a job but only because others forced them into it and given a choice, they'd rather pursue their hobbies that didn't pay? This is an issue that one of my all time favourite bloggers Tanvii brought to my notice for the first time. Pursuing or not pursuing a so called career should be a conscious choice for all of us. And the decision to take care of the household instead of sitting at a cubicle in front of a computer deserves an equal amount of respect because we should have the freedom to choose whether we want to be employed or not. Ever since I started looking at things this way, my approach towards the so called housewives has changed drastically.
                                                    There's another aspect to independence that we often choose not to explore. Being a citizen of a free country means we have the right to take personal decisions until and unless our decisions go against the law of the land. Yet, how many of us are brave enough to embrace our true sexuality? How many of us are comfortable talking about their curiosity towards everything sexual during our adolescent years? Our body is a mystery on its own and not acknowledging its complex behaviours only shows our desperation to run away from the truth and nothing else. Calling a broom anything other than a broom won't change its true identity. Likewise, if parents choose to have an open discussion about the sexual curiosity accompanied with adolescence, many of the unhealthy sexual habits people grow as teenagers can be prevented. Topics like masturbation, unprotected sex, sodomy, homosexuality, incest, erotic fetishes and BDSM(to name a few) should be clearly discussed with teenagers instead of leaving it to their imagination. And who can be a better teacher for a child than his/her parents? I, for one, was always very clear and vocal about my body and its desires and considered myself sexually independent. However, despite my best attempts, any discussion with the elders regarding this always ended in a fight. I used to take things personally even five years back. These days, I'm wise enough to come out of the discussion after giving them the required information instead of turning it into a nasty fight. But the scores of homosexuals trapped in heterosexual marriages or forced to live a life of tired loneliness tell a different story.
                                                              So, this independence day, instead of hoisting another national flag and singing the national anthem once more, think about what true independence means to you. List down ten things you'd have done had there been no societal rules and no inhibitions. Then ask yourself why you aren't doing those. I'm pretty sure there'd be at least five things that you can do any day if you stop being so afraid. And if all of us end up doing five such things every year, we'd know that we are heading towards a truly independent country.

And now, say 'hi' to one of the most independent girls I've ever known! If you have been following ze blog for a while,Anu is no stranger to you. She happens to be the best and most inspiring fashion designer, a surprisingly observant amateur photographer, a celeb content writer, the most dedicated fashion blogger and my greatest source of inspiration. She has always lived life on her own terms. She has never done one of those so called rebellious things, true but she has broken almost every rule our society tries to impose on women in her own way. Studying Fashion Designing despite being a Science student(I'm sure the prospective doctors and engineers spared her no sneer), quitting her job to start her own brand, not succumbing to peer pressure, continuing with equal jest even when her dreams didn't exactly find wings to fly...I can talk about how she inspires me all day long! So, what better time to show you how she breaks the myth of not being able to be cool in ethnic wear? She rocks it and how!
Tunic- Max, leggings- Shoppers Stop, chappals- Linking Road, Bandra, watch- Dresslily, ring-Dilli Haat, neckpiece- New Market


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  2. very beautifully expressed soumi .. how is work ? enjoying the new job ?