Fear no fear(or not)?

Since time immemorial, children and adults alike are taught to overcome their fear but while going through a post by fellow blogger Chandana, I actually started thinking about fear the way I haven't thought in years. Since Bukowski, Ginsberg and Plath happen to be my all time favourite poets, I, personally have always been a believer in fear. Fear, in my opinion, is the rawest emotion one can have and even though the die-hard romantic in me would like to think otherwise, I've strong reasons to suspect that fear overrides even love at times. Every human emotion can be derived from fear. Love also, in a way, can be defined as 'the fear of losing the person one can't do without', among other things. The so called 'overcoming one's fear' is also logically null and void. We don't overcome our fears, we avoid acknowledging the fact that we fear a certain person/thing/activity/idea and try to look at that particular person/thing/activity/idea as something different(and doable, if I might add). But none of the 'overcome your fear' workshops I've seen had taught the victim to admit their fear and then dealing with it. They are always told that there's nothing to fear which, in essence, is trying to avoid the idea of fear altogether and also, challenging the victim's sanity.
                                                                                                                                           How about using fear as motivation instead? Fear isn't our friend and most of us are in agreement in that case. So, the next time we have to go river-rafting, something that many of us are scared of, instead of thinking that there's nothing to fear and then rediscovering it like never before mid-river, how about we admit the fear of river-rafting and then decide to go because we refuse to allow fear more power over us than it already has? I myself am very clear about my fears. Like most of my friends, I'm shit scared of cockroaches, spiders, snakes and all their creepy crawly cousins. But whenever a cockroach presents itself in front of me when I don't have help nearby, I try to remember how scary it'd be if I can't kill the cockroach now and it gets braver and ends up on my shoulder and trust me, it always works. I have almost a 100% record of hitting cockroaches with my first spray. Fear no. 2 is going back to my (grossly) overweight days. It goes without saying that this fear motivates me to eat healthy(with cheat days once every week of course) and work out on a regular basis. The biggest fear in my life is not having my loved ones with me, physically or emotionally. Even though this might not sound like a real fear to some people, trust me I've spent sleepless nights imagining how life would be without the ones I consider to be my closest. I'm yet to get hold of a full-proof way to solve this but I'm reaching there. What are your fears?
                                                                                          Moving on to the outfit, you must have got an idea that I'm in a full on monochrome mood. So, you are going to see this maxi skirt on the blog pretty frequently. And I love how Anu makes my Saturdays ever since the misery called work has taken over! Even though I try not to miss her exhibitions, most of the times I can't turn up because of my hectic schedule. Since I was working this Saturday and my office happens to be close to The Park, I knew this isn't an exhibition I'd like to miss out on. Given the dress code and the weather, this was pretty much the best I could do. Of course even a conservative(read matronly) outfit like this one drew enough glances(and complaints later) from people at work who were wondering whether sweeping the floor has also been added to the duties of HR or not and how I lost my other 'earring' and if I'm wearing a clip-on because I don't have my ears pierced, to name a few but then, having a gala time with Anu and Deepa is worth every awkward (and annoying) question answered(or ignored).

Maxi skirt-Jabong, shirt- Simpark Mall, ring- New Market, shoes and earcuff- B.K.Market, bow tie-Howrah Bridge

Picture Courtesy- Anu

The biggest festival of us Bengalis- Durga Pujo is just a week away. Even though I have mixed feelings about it this year, the energy in the city during this time is infectious. So, expect a lot of ethnic pictures on ze blog when I come back. Till then, take care and keep it stylish.

Where art thou, my Valentine?

With the blog-o-sphere full of Valentines' Day posts and red, pink and white cute somethings and gift ideas and mushy rumblings, can yours truly be far behind? But given my obsession with pain, you won't be disappointed if you are expecting something other than a lovey-dovey post here. Yes, love  is magical. I don't deny that. I'd never deny that. I've been in love. I've seen how colorful and happy the mundane things look when you are in love. I know exactly how one blushes after breaking into a sheepish grin in the middle of a class, thanks to a stupid piece of happy memory. I know how perfect it feels to wake up next to your loved one and see the sun rays playing on the curtain behind their head.
                                                                                                      But, contrary to what Acrhies and its cousins would have us believe, Valentines' Day is as much about the pain and heartbreak that come along with love as the happiness and bliss. As many of you might know,the origin of this day lies in the popular story that Saint Valentine of Rome was imprisoned for performing weddings for soldiers who were not allowed to marry. Before his execution, he wrote a letter to the daughter of his jailer and signed it "Your Valentine" as a farewell. Does this heart-wrenching story actually encourage the roses-chocolates-teddies-candles-waltz extravaganza we indulge into every year on this very day? Shouldn't it rather be a day when we remember all those fated lovers who struggled all their life to be together and either died in the process or achieved success only when they were too tired to relish it? Shouldn't we thank God on this very day for being lucky enough to be with our love so easily? Shouldn't we be thankful that the ones we fell in love with loved us back? Shouldn't we be thankful that we were allowed by the rest of the world to fall in love? Shouldn't we be thankful that our dreams came true when we were young enough to feel the ecstasy it brought forth? And shouldn't we shed a tear or two for those who didn't turn out to be as lucky as we were? This deprived set is a lot bigger than we think- the in-numerous number of people who fall in love with people of same sex, married people, people from different castes, religions, race, creed, country? In short, the ones whose love stories don't have a certain ending like that of ours. Don't these less fortunate ones deserve a little more than our sarcastic comments or judgmental glances?
          So, this Valentines' Day, walk up to the person you made fun of the other day- be it a beggar who claimed to be a millionaire before his wife died and his daughter-in-law threw him out, a friend with a forbidden love life or the daughter of the domestic help who had a love child. One kind word costs nothing. One hug would leave you warmer and lighter. One prayer won't bite into your quota of happiness. You make someone's day, their smile and blessings would make yours automatically. Because happiness is a privilege and this is the only way of thanking the superior power for blessing you with a bunch of it.
                                                                                        The pictures are the leftovers from the Look Book-2013 of Howrah Bridge that created quite a stir on the social media. I don't look conventionally pretty, thanks to the oiled hair, no makeup, acne, blackheads and the sun but some pictures are all about their nostalgic value. Besides, looking pretty was never a part of the checklist. Remember the blog introduction?

Palazzo-B.K.Market, white shirt-New Market,hat and ring-borrowed from Anu,bow tie and jacket-Howrah Bridge
Styling, picture and location courtesy- Anu

Skirt tales and getting pregnant...

Ye hoo,what is up,people? I've been super busy the past week but all is well now. March started on a high note. Internals are over(and I fucked only two papers out of four,can you imagine?),I broke my 'no smoking' resolution again and it's time to deliver my baby(well,not literally,I'm fat anyway)! Well,technically it's a baby our very own Kanika conceived but given the super busy Graphic designer she is,has been kind enough to transfer it to me after carrying it all throughout the February!
                                                                        So,here I am,pregnant with the most over-hyped baby Blog-o-sphere has ever seen but I'm lazy and thought would feed it only once a week,a sharp contrast to the loving mom Kanika who took time out of her busy schedule to feed her EVERY FREAKIN' DAY! Babies adjust quickly and I'm hoping the baby won't consider me the worst mom ever down the years.So,ladies and gentleman,hold your breath coz' it's time to officially launch 'Memorable March'!*Drum-rolls please*
                                                                                                                           And here goes the first inspiration of the week-
                                 "True blue or too blue"
I was under huge pressure. I had to live up to Kanika's sheer perfection,I had to make it 'cheerful' under Ruhani's special request. I tried my best,thinking about it in stead of Advanced Java,E-commerce,Industrial Management and Ethics in the midst of my exams but it really is up to you all to judge.
                                                                                                                               Just in case you forgot the rules,
i)DO ANYTHING! Just be inspired. Write something,click a picture,do a photo-shoot,do an outfit post,sing a song and upload the audio,choreograph a dance piece and upload the video,enact a scene and upload the clip...do WHATEVER UNDER THE SUN it is that you wish.

ii)Mail me your blog link by 4th March,Sunday,11:59 p.m. to soumipaul07@gmail.com. I'll update your links along with my thoughts.

iii)Happy blogging,no pressure! It's not a competition. You don't have to outshine anyone. I love you all equally,no matter how profound or shallow you're.
                                                                          On a parting note,I think you deserve to see my new skirt which,according to a friend,looks like a bedspread. I love it nonetheless. It's so old school,colourful,ethnic,feel-good and comfortable that I won't trade it for the world. The white shirt was an obvious choice. I'm trying the double watch trend for the first time after seeing all my favourite fashion bloggers carry it with elan. The Kolhapuri is vintage and an absolute love! Pardon the background,I was not at my eccentric best.
                             

On a parting note,something I felt like saying to my super inspiring Verbals teacher but got tongue-tied as usual,
"I would've given you the last slab of my chocolate-molten and saliva-strained,to acknowledge my gratitude if it weren't for the sudden awkwardness between us,I hope your new students treat you equally well because you're a king and you deserve no less."

Turning 22

Is it too late to share my b'day stories(and pictures)?Probably yes but a girl can hope,right?*Wink*
Okay,so,here goes my 'official' b'day post.I'm sorry I couldn't post earlier in spite of getting a few requests on Facebook.I officially turned 22 on 2nd Jan.Kind of sucks because I LOVED being a member of the 'forever 21' club!Just didn't know 'forever' isn't,well, 'forever' for everyone.*Tears and sobs*
                                                                                            There's nothing wrong with getting old.I just have an uneasy relationship with even numbers.Even when I was a kid,I won't take two chocolates for anything!It'd always have to be one or three.But more on that later.
                                                                               I was going through a hell lot of inner conflicts since the last week of Dec(though it's been resolved now,thanks to something I said by mistake!). That made my b'day a lot less fun than it was supposed to be.My friends DID try their best to cheer me up-showering me with gifts,making me laugh in the lamest way possible,talking some sense into my thick head...but that's the thing about this stupid heart of ours.We've to let it run its natural course.And then,automatically,it stops hurting.
                                                                                                                                             Anyway,I took my friends to China town for lunch.Then we went to Victoria memorial and then three of us stayed back for another friend of mine who was coming from college.Thought would share some pictures.

At Oly pub,in the evening

At China town,for lunch

We stopped by Baskin Robbins for ice cream

The only decent looking piece of my b'day cake

                                                                                                            On a parting note,something to stay true to my dark self,
"I never knew living was this painful.
I thought I had seen all the darkness in your womb.
I thought the world held no surprise to me at all!
Little did I know I was yet to live."                           

Jingle bells,jingle bells,jingle all the way...

Dear Santa,
                 gone are the years when I used to ask for a never ending chocolate fountain,magic lamps,stockings and dancing frocks in all possible colors,boyfriends who'd sing songs to me-with their arms outstretched,Shahrukh Khan style.As you might have noticed over the years,I've even stopped asking per se.I was just happy that you hadn't forgotten me and paid me a yearly visit in spite of being so freakishly busy-sometimes with a book,sometimes with a bag I've been eyeing  for a long time or sometimes with just another box of chocolates I'll never get over.I always wanted to stay up all night so that I could finally see you,even if for once but you always managed to trick me into sleeping,some way or the other.I've always been able to relate to you personally.We both were overweight,full of life,unappreciated,lonely and caring.I was a huge fan of your cap and used to buy one every year,religiously!
                                                                                       But then,this year,I've something to ask for,for a change.I hope you don't mind.I've been going through a personal crisis and have been trying every trick in the book to get over it-hanging out with my girlfriends,shopping,eating until my stomach explodes,cooking,reading,watching movies and even keeping myself busy by talking to other people so that those who're not supposed to pop up in my mind can rest in peace.I'm even planning to get drunk on Christmas too though I'm currently a little low on cash and if you ask me to choose between the fantastic camel bag and a beer,I'll probably go for the bag.Anyway,enough with the small talk.Now,unlike my previous requests,this one's a little 'not so materialistic'. I need you to give me a little brains so that I can decide what's good for me and what's not.I need you to give me a little patience so that I can think twice before jumping into anything.And more than everything else,I need you to make me strong enough to handle all the difficulties life has to offer.In addition to that,if you make me a little more uninhibited so that I can click pictures for the blog on the middle of the road without hesitating,it'd be great.I'm so self-obsessed,no?Always talking about myself,always thinking about ways to make my life better...yeah,it DID occur to me after someone pointed it out to me this week.And I'll be keeping it in my mind while making a list of my new year resolutions.

                                                                                                                                                Anyway,hope you've been doing great.Take care and merry Christmas in advance!
                                                                                                     Coming back to the outfit,it's one of the humblest things I've worn in say,the past two months!This jute bag had been lying under the heap and gathering dust for a long time before I finally noticed it and decided to give it its due recognition.I loved the orange detailing on the border and while it might not be fit for a glamorous night out,I DO see myself carrying it with a few down-to-earth ensembles.The grey pants turned out to be quite different from what I had expected but still,I love them a lot,thanks to the color and the high waist.And about these kolhapuris,'nuff said.The tangerine headband is one of life's simplest pleasures and the chunky green watch is my new BFF.And did I forget to say anything about my white shirt?I bet you don't want me to start again.

Laid back...

There hasn't been an outfit post over here for a while.Yes,Kali Pujo(Diwali) DOES seem a year back!*Wipes tears*...Actually,I've not really got out of my place lately.My exam is from 20th or 22nd Nov.But that's hardly the reason of the lack of outfit posts.I've this nerd friend of mine(She used to be pretty cool back in first year but nowadays,she's all study-study-study,project-project-project,lab-lab-lab...).So,I'm holed up in my room all day,reading finance,artificial intelligence,advanced Java,compiler design and advanced operating system to her.We DO get the breakfast and lunch breaks but the luchis,oil laden fries and chicken make me feel more guilty than recharged.She allows me to leave around 7 p.m.but by then,I'm usually so tired that the only thing I want to do is watch a little TV and SLEEP.But anyway,I started hating the lack of action in the blog so much that I decided to do an outfit post before going to a cyber cafe to get the print out of my XAT admit card.Yeah,people do crazy things when they reach the height of desperation.So,instead of judging me or laughing at me,enjoy the pictures.If you don't remember,here it is once again-Five things I can't live without are books,white shirt,well-fit denims,nude pumps and deo.So,you mustn't be surprised that in fifty percent of the posts,I use white shirts as the canvas to weave the rest of the story.

I hate such days when I've to wear black pumps just because I can't find anything better...

I've always believed that fashion is an extension to one's personality.It says a word or two about the kind of person you're,your likes and dislikes,hopes and desire,insecurities and joys.That's why I've never worn something I'm not comfortable with.Maxis are HOT this season,so are wide-legged pants.But I don't have any of them in my wardrobe.So,when I get up in the morning and get dressed,you can be sure of one fact-every piece of clothing or accessory on my body is so ME! And I love them to death.I'll do whatever it takes to keep them intact.But there're exceptions-some days when I get up and slip into something that I might not hate but I don't entirely like either.I try to look confident as if this is the best look I could have styled for today and I'm totally satisfied with the way it has turned out.But deep inside,my confidence lessens with every passing minute and after a few hours or so,I just want someone to rip that 'thing' off me because I'm better off without it.One such 'thing' is a pair of black pumps.Yes,back in my teenage,I've been obsessed with everything black-LBDs,black blazers,black vintage handbags,black chiffon saris(I still haven't totally got over it.:P)and so on.But lately,I dread anything black,specially anything black near my feet.But there're days when you just can't help it because black is safe and better go boring than bad,right?On such days,I wish I were Sonu or Jasleen or Tanvii or Karishma or Smrithi or Kavya,blessed with such fabulous wardrobes that you never,never run out of options!I had this Infosys seminar in college today which required me to wear formals.It was gonna be a sweaty affair,with almost 500 students packed in a 120-seater auditorium,with almost no AC on for hours.One of my favorite White shirts has been spoiled lately.I didn't want to spoil another one.So,I decided to wear this peach over-sized shirt with a slightly androgynous twist.Now,I'm not really fond of this shirt and I've worn it rarely.And whenever I've worn it,I've teamed it up with shorts and maybe a boyfriend blazer.The word 'strictly formals' in the notice from Training and Placement cell made sure that I keep my experiments at bay. So,I had to wear them tucked in,with my all purpose black trousers.Now I wanted to add a pop of color with a bright blue sling or a pair of blue pumps. But turns out I had bought the blue pumps way too long back and they don't exist any more.Then I raided my closet and found out that I don't have a blue bag at all!Then I thought of adding a little Indianness with my mojris or kolhapuris.I didn't want to wear the yellow kolhapuri,the brown-orange-blue one had to let go of its sole at that very moment,when I was about to clean it a little.The mojri just didn't go with that shirt.I was supposed to get out of my place within 7:30 and it was already 7:45!So,I was left with no other option but the boring black pumps!Aaaaaaaarghhhhhh!!!!!!!

White shirt-Pantaloons,Orange bag-in front of Hogg Market,Gladiators-Emami,Black trousers-Talking threads,Metro Plaza.

So,just to prove to myself that I still am better dressed than the local fish woman,I decided to post this picture.The orange tote is a new buy,about a month old.The gladiators are old and it was probably the last time I was wearing them.But they were my favorites for a long time.So,how about paying a tribute to them with one last shot?These pictures were taken on 15th August and I really wanted to add an Independence day flavor with a happy green watch but I'm yet to buy one and all these raining and my crazy schedule aren't making it any easier.

AHOY,MEN,STILL REMEMBER MY PROMISE,DO YOU REMEMBER YOURS?

I’ve been getting complaints from various sources that my blog is too ‘girlie’ and most of the time, I talk about nothing more than my nail paints. So, this post is dedicated to all those who wanted this space to be more manly, all those who used the feminine side of my blog to skip reading and still claim to be my friend, all those who turned up in college wearing floaters and sweat pants or something equally disastrous. I know very little about male fashion apart from Rajesh Pratap Singh, Raghavendra Rathore  and Sharbari Datta. So, I’m freaking nervous. As this is a start, I’m not gonna get overambitious. I’d rather keep things simple and basic. The problem with men is that whenever they’ve a hard time acquiring a skill, they term it as ‘girlie’ or ‘stupid’. I had friends in school who used to smoke more than ten cigarettes on the night before exam because they had to ‘study’. I always told them that we girls’re studying the same syllabus and we’ll be getting the same question paper. There’ll be no reservations(or ‘quotas’ if you please) for us. If we can study without getting high on nicotine, so can you. You just chose not to. Then there’re those men treating the streets like the public urinal. I always asked them that if women can control their urge to urinate any time, any where, why can’t they? There’s probably no special technique involved with the structure of female bladder. Then there’re moms who teach their baby boys to remove their shirts and trousers as soon as they reach a relative’s place and wear a pair of shorts that’ll serve as both the underwear and the shorts(and it’s a habit those ‘baby boys’ will adhere to even after they’re grown up). The same moms will slap their daughters if they want to wear a bikini because being a ‘girl’, you should always be ‘covered’. Ironic, isn’t it? Ditto goes with fashion. Most of the men don’t understand fashion. What the heck? They haven’t discovered shoes yet, let alone dressing sense! And as usual, just because they don’t understand it, it’s not art, it’s ‘a wastage of money’ and ‘stupid’ and ‘girlie’! Anyway, my point here isn’t picking up a fight with men(though I know I’m really good at that), I’m here to give tips to men on how to be presentable. Can you imagine? My grandfather’d have been so proud of me! LOL!

Anyway, let’s come to the point.

#1)WHITE SHIRT-This is something I swear by. I kinda have a thing for men’s white shirts. And that’s probably one of the secret reasons of my current relationship status(It’s single, if you’re that curious). Waking up the morning after sex, slipping into your boyfriend’s oversized white shirt and YOUR boxers, making tea and having breakfast in bed…Ooh, these’re the stuff my dreams’re made of. Get one with no prints, no patterns, no stripes. Simple white, as clutter-free as it gets.You got a crisp white shirt, you got a Soumi in your pants, dude! :P

#2)Khaki shorts-For those who’re a little surprised if I got the ordering right or not, I’m perfectly fine. I’m as much a fan of Khaki shorts as I’m of White shirts. They both’re comfortable, classic and super stylish. But unlike the shirts,I think I’d like to wear my own shorts only, not my boyfriend’s. I’m not really a fan of the very short ones. Get a mid-length one, with pockets. You can either wear it with your easy breezy White shirt, tucked in or polo necked tees. But please try to keep prints as far as possible.

#3)Suit up-Yes, I’m a big fan of Barney Stinson(and his suits) and I’d have probably lost my virginity to Neal Patrick Harris had he not been gay.*Sigh*

Coming back to suits, get as many as you can. Black and white is the classic combo. But you could also try blue and white, white and purple, steel grey and white and what not.This is one area where nothing but floral prints can go wrong. And DON’T FORGET THE TIE.

#4)No smelly undies-Bad news, boys. As much as you love wearing the same undies for weeks and make your dorm rooms a safe(and stinky) place just with the help of the smelly socks and undies, it won’t help you get lucky anywhere else. Clean up! Get a pedicure, use moisturizer, wash your hair and wash your undies too! It’s so damn disgusting, trust me! And try colors other than powder blue, red or yellow ochre while buying them. Seriously, are you people color-blind?

#5)Wear shoes-Lemme teach you something, boys. Whoever taught you that shoes were discovered to cover your feet, was a liar. Most of you people assumed that if you’d cover your feet with newspapers or rags, you’d be wearing shoes. There’s actually something called Leather which is super sexy and lends its name to shiny shoes. You need money to buy them and then you bring them home and WEAR them! As simple as that!

With that, I hope I’ll get to see better dressed men in college when our campus interviews start next month. Rumor has it that the dates’ll be somewhere around 12^th Sept. So, readers, please don’t judge me if I’m not able to post regularly. It’s not that I don’t miss you, I just can’t do anything about it. Love.

                                                                                 Soumi.

GIMME RED!

I just discovered a positive side of having bad days-having more bad days(and weeks and months)means going on more shopping splurges!So,thanks to all the frustrations going on in here,I went shopping again!Though this time,I had a perfectly justifiable excuse to-it's my didi's b'day tomorrow!I had bought a gift for her long back but it didn't work out.So,I went to buy something else for her today.And I had an exam from 5 p.m.So,a little de-stressing doesn't hurt,right?Here's the bag I bought for her,it's so damn gorgeous that couldn't help clicking a few pictures!Guess I'm slowly becoming notorious for using gifts before giving them away for once and for all.You remember Moumita's sling here(that I posed with before giving it to her),don't you?So,you probably won't be surprised to know that I made my chair pose with this bag.I love the happy crimson,totally perks my shabby room up!

.

You know me,the shopaholic by now,I guess.

So,no wonder I bought a few things for myself too.A ruffled top and a pair of shorts came home in my backpack(yeah,I had a dance class which I ditched,so,obviously I was carrying a heavy salwaar kameez and ghoongroos,so,I had to carry a backpack).And for the first time,I actually found the corn-spring onion momo at the 'Wow Momo' stall!Every time I go to a 'Wow Momo' outlet,they run out of corn-spring onion momos!I've been chasing this one for a few months now!The search finally ended.And it wasn't that great actually if you ask me.For vegetarians,the mushroom momo is much much better!And if you're looking for cheaper options,even paneer momo is better than this one!And the chicken,fish,prawn momos are always there toh!Another failed attempt to find the perfect white shirt resulted in me buying a not-so-perfect white shirt again!But more on that later.And last but not the least,our college'll have its first fest since 2004 this year!Yay!So,stay tuned for more pictures.Till then,happy reading!

P.S.If you'd rather like a depression-heavy post and some info about what had been bothering me for the past few weeks(not to suggest that I'm over it now)tha the happy(and shallow)posts,do mention it in your comment.If I find more than one people interested in my depression talk,I might actually share it with you(though I personally don't believe in promoting my petty issues and bothering everyone under the sun with my daily tear count updates.I learnt this very valuable lesson from Tanvi,one of my blogging idols),who knows?