Setting priorities

A considerable part of my childhood was spent making plans on things to do once I get a job. Buying all the books under the sun, going on a shopping spree and signing up for expensive, day long dance classes topped the list. It hit me the other day that working has only taken me far, far away from the person I had aspired to become once I start earning. I've not been able to pursue my hobbies as much as I used to while studying, let alone more. I kept wondering whether it was worth it. Sure I love my job, I love living in the fastest and arguably the biggest city in India, I love being independent...I love it all! But with every passing day, I lose touch with my true self a little more. I wake up every morning - fresh and beaming with energy, ready to take on the world but what about the early morning newspaper I used to read till 12 p.m. before researching more on the topic the editorial that day was written about? What about the leisurely breakfast I used to make myself and wonder if it'd feel this satisfying even when I'm eighty? What about the hawker I used to chat with every afternoon irrespective of whether I buy Popsicle from him or not?

Life is cruel. It lures one with promises of things they have always fantasised about and then takes even their bare necessities from them. I've learnt it the hard way and therefore, decided not to let go of the few principles I've, the few people I care for and the few things I'm passionate about, come what may. I decided not to give up on my early morning exercise, reading a few pages at least once every week and talking to my parents everyday. Putting my foot down and taking this decision not only made me feel empowered but also a lot lighter. Setting our own priorities is important in order to stop disappointing ourselves everyday. What are your priorities? How do you ensure you don't compromise on them?

Pleated maxi skirt and tan tote - Jabong, tussled crop top - Max, black oxfords - Simpark Mall, silver neckpiece - Linking Road, lipstick - Arresting Pink by Colorbar
Picture Courtesy - Anu

These pictures were rotting in my draft for almost a month. Crazy working hours and hectic travelling(and a laptop that's obsessed with crashing) didn't help. But I finally showed them the light of the day! Looking at these also reminded me of the super, super fun evening I spent with my best friend during her Mumbai trip for Lakme Fashion Week almost a month back. This skirt has been my go to piece of clothing for almost a year. The crop top was a gift during my recent Hyderabad trip. Together, they make for such an effortless, chic look even though I wish I had enough energy to take better pictures.

These days, I've also been introspecting a lot regarding my blog. More on that later though. Meanwhile, if you are in Kolkata at this moment, do let me know how the kaash phool(the nerds tell me that they are called saccharum spontaneum but I find it very difficult to believe) looks now and if the Dhaakis have already started beating their drums. Oh how I miss this pre - pujo madness!

Fear no fear(or not)?

Since time immemorial, children and adults alike are taught to overcome their fear but while going through a post by fellow blogger Chandana, I actually started thinking about fear the way I haven't thought in years. Since Bukowski, Ginsberg and Plath happen to be my all time favourite poets, I, personally have always been a believer in fear. Fear, in my opinion, is the rawest emotion one can have and even though the die-hard romantic in me would like to think otherwise, I've strong reasons to suspect that fear overrides even love at times. Every human emotion can be derived from fear. Love also, in a way, can be defined as 'the fear of losing the person one can't do without', among other things. The so called 'overcoming one's fear' is also logically null and void. We don't overcome our fears, we avoid acknowledging the fact that we fear a certain person/thing/activity/idea and try to look at that particular person/thing/activity/idea as something different(and doable, if I might add). But none of the 'overcome your fear' workshops I've seen had taught the victim to admit their fear and then dealing with it. They are always told that there's nothing to fear which, in essence, is trying to avoid the idea of fear altogether and also, challenging the victim's sanity.
                                                                                                                                           How about using fear as motivation instead? Fear isn't our friend and most of us are in agreement in that case. So, the next time we have to go river-rafting, something that many of us are scared of, instead of thinking that there's nothing to fear and then rediscovering it like never before mid-river, how about we admit the fear of river-rafting and then decide to go because we refuse to allow fear more power over us than it already has? I myself am very clear about my fears. Like most of my friends, I'm shit scared of cockroaches, spiders, snakes and all their creepy crawly cousins. But whenever a cockroach presents itself in front of me when I don't have help nearby, I try to remember how scary it'd be if I can't kill the cockroach now and it gets braver and ends up on my shoulder and trust me, it always works. I have almost a 100% record of hitting cockroaches with my first spray. Fear no. 2 is going back to my (grossly) overweight days. It goes without saying that this fear motivates me to eat healthy(with cheat days once every week of course) and work out on a regular basis. The biggest fear in my life is not having my loved ones with me, physically or emotionally. Even though this might not sound like a real fear to some people, trust me I've spent sleepless nights imagining how life would be without the ones I consider to be my closest. I'm yet to get hold of a full-proof way to solve this but I'm reaching there. What are your fears?
                                                                                          Moving on to the outfit, you must have got an idea that I'm in a full on monochrome mood. So, you are going to see this maxi skirt on the blog pretty frequently. And I love how Anu makes my Saturdays ever since the misery called work has taken over! Even though I try not to miss her exhibitions, most of the times I can't turn up because of my hectic schedule. Since I was working this Saturday and my office happens to be close to The Park, I knew this isn't an exhibition I'd like to miss out on. Given the dress code and the weather, this was pretty much the best I could do. Of course even a conservative(read matronly) outfit like this one drew enough glances(and complaints later) from people at work who were wondering whether sweeping the floor has also been added to the duties of HR or not and how I lost my other 'earring' and if I'm wearing a clip-on because I don't have my ears pierced, to name a few but then, having a gala time with Anu and Deepa is worth every awkward (and annoying) question answered(or ignored).

Maxi skirt-Jabong, shirt- Simpark Mall, ring- New Market, shoes and earcuff- B.K.Market, bow tie-Howrah Bridge

Picture Courtesy- Anu

The biggest festival of us Bengalis- Durga Pujo is just a week away. Even though I have mixed feelings about it this year, the energy in the city during this time is infectious. So, expect a lot of ethnic pictures on ze blog when I come back. Till then, take care and keep it stylish.

Rebel turned disciplined?

All my life, I have been a rebel. The art of discipline never appealed to me. I always enjoyed breaking rules instead of obeying them. Therefore, all my friends thought I had gone mad when I told them about my disciplined lifestyle these days. And my family was pleasantly surprised.
                                                                                                         One of my closest and most special friends had told me something long back that I couldn't appreciate fully. He said everything(or most of the things at least) holds their charm only when they are forbidden. Once the ban is lifted, one would hardly crave it. According to him, the key to the success in relationships lies in this simple fact. As long as couples can come up with ideas that make their relationship feel forbidden and illegitimate(and adventurous), the fun would be there. The moment both the persons know that they are supposed to be together and they love each other and nothing can separate them, they'd have no passion left and it'd be the death of the relationship(feel free to draw parallels with 'Death of poet' in this context).
               I've mixed feelings to his theory for various reasons best left unsaid. However, if I apply this same logic to my lifestyle, it perfectly explains my painstakingly disciplined lifestyle these days. Back in my childhood, rules were all I was taught to adhere to. There was a rule for everything-when to wake up, what to have for breakfast, what to wear, who to play with, when to do my homework, when to watch TV, what all channels to watch, how long to talk over phone...and of course when to start dating and how far to go with the boyfriends. In the presence(and enforcement) of so many rules, all I wanted to do was rebel. But as I started growing up, my otherwise rigid parents(to my relief and surprise), started loosening their grip and I got to do exactly what I wanted. I believe it was partially because of the regular fights at home and partially because of my mom's belief that teenagers adopt the right values if they are given freedom in small doses. Nonetheless, the result was delightful. All throughout my student life, most of my friends were envious of the freedom I got from home. "No curfew hours?","Your mom knows that you drink?","Your parents would let you go on a trip with your friends?","You talk to your boyfriends in front of your parents?","Your parents allowed you to move out?" were some of the very few questions I used to be bombarded with by the zealously protected rich kids in class.
                                                      To be honest, I had my fair share of fun. Despite financial constraints, the kind of liberating experiences that I've had in my age would be rare to come by, I dare say. However, after ten years of no rules, being a rebel didn't seem to be as glamorous as it had when I was a kid. I secretly wished my parents made angry calls every time I was staying out late instead of a somewhat worried but supportive "it's okay, take your time, come safe". I found myself feeling guilty and irritated at the same time when everyone in class was scolded for performing poorly in the exam while my parents said nothing. I wanted to be the good old protected child again. Life seemed to be so much easier when someone else makes the rules for you!
                                  But, one can't have the best of both the worlds. And since my parents weren't about to turn into overprotective monsters overnight, I decided to make rules for myself. I got the first taste of a disciplined lifestyle while I was doing my first internship. I used to wake up at 5 a.m., make my pre-workout meal and lunch, workout for an hour or so, come home and make my breakfast, catch the 8:50 Volvo, read the morning newspaper on my way to work, work till at least 8 p.m., come home back and make my dinner, watch TV while having dinner, put my facepack on and go to bed. I went out with friends during weekends but I didn't drink or eat out more than once in a month. I also made it a point to note down one stimulating thought every month. I continued this lifestyle during my next internship despite going through a very emotionally difficult time. And I'm back to the same lifestyle now that I'm working(the only concession being a maid for making the dinner, thanks to the salary at the end of the month). And I can't tell you how satisfied and rejuvenated it leaves me! There's a certain feel good factor associated with sticking to a routine and it helps me fight all the frustration in my personal life. There are days when I don't cry just because I'm supposed to be arranging my fresh clothes from laundry at that point of time as per my routine. And pushing the tears away for the sake of something more important makes them go away at least for the day and I couldn't have been more thankful for that!
                                                             Speaking of being thankful, I wish there were a single person to thank for the emergence of maxi dresses and skirts. They are an absolute life-saver and I absolutely can't do without them! They are chic, comfortable and super stylish! What more could a girl ask for? Yes, a phaatugraphaar to capture them in their maxi-mum glory but then, I have even that! I truly am a lucky girl!

Maxi skirt- Jabong, dress(worn as a blouse)-B.K.Market, gladiators- Metro Plaza, cuff- New Market, rings- B.K.Market and Park Street, sling- Simpark Mall