New beginning or the means to an end?

There can't be a better time to talk about new beginnings than December! Of course talking about new beginnings has special significance for me this December with the move to Indore. But then again, without taking any credit away from the new for all its positivism, why don't we talk about endings? How do we start something new if we don't end the old? This year has been a year of changes in more ways than one. I've changed so much throughout the year that I barely relate to the person I was when 2014 started. Most of the changes have come with heartbreaks in one way or the other but I learnt to be thankful for what I have instead of complaining about what I had to let go of. 2014 has been a year of disappointment, liberation, failure, self-realisation, loneliness, passion and of course, love. These are the things I'd always remember 2014 for-

• Girls' Week Out- I've never been much of a traveler. Most of the times, I didn't have money, I didn't have anyone to travel with, I was stuck in my monotonous and hectic schedule...excuses are aplenty but this year, I finally took a trip to Gangtok with two of my best friends. And it was so liberating! Three girls travelling together, facing challenges of every kind and getting over them all, it was an experience I'd never forget.

This trip in itself deserves a separate post and I promise I'd get back with it without further procrastination.

• First job- Well, it's over-hyped, it definitely is. Specially for someone who is working in an organisation that is far from her dream company , life can be pretty difficult. In addition to that, it doesn't even translate into a lot of money. But then, being able to pay your own bills gives you a sense of confidence that nothing else can match up to.

• Moving to a new city- For someone so blindly in love with Kolkata, moving to a new city, that too, a city I've hated during my week-long stay there was pretty much unimaginable for everyone who knew me. Even I've surprised myself the way I handled the entire relocation. Guess it's easy to be calm and realistic when one gets used to disappointment.

• Letting go of forever- My younger brother had shared a piece of wisdom with me long back. I was madly in love and since I wasn't in a relationship that had a so called destination, the love brought with it a lot of pain. It hurt him to see me in so much pain and still trying so desperately to hold on to it. So, he had told me that forever is ever changing. If this one feels right, it's not the last. It'd come again. I didn't want to believe him but this year taught me exactly that. Forever would keep coming even though it'd feel different every time. That doesn't make letting go any less painful but it's comforting to believe that this isn't the end of life.

Now that the end of 2014 is nearby, let me raise a toast to every beautiful moment this year has given me, the way it has broken me and put me back to shape...everything has made me stronger and braver. Thank you, 2014!

 And finally, it's time to unveil 'Sisters of the Travelling Pajamas'! It's a concept that one of my blogging idols Karishma had come up with. A group of bloggers from different cities formed a chain and each blogger had to send one piece of clothing/accessory to the next one in the chain and the one receiving it has to style it her way. I was lucky enough to receive her crop top and even though I had great plans to style it really high street with moccasins and oxblood lipstick, due to lack of resources, this is how I finally styled it-

Crop top- Karishma's, skirt, belt, shoes- B.K.Market, wristband- borrowed from Anu, bag- New Market, lipstick- Orange Punch by Colorbar

Picture Credits- Anu

I'll be back with the Gangtok post and the customary Indore guide post once I get a little time off all the cooking, cleaning, washing dishes and clothes, grocery shopping and all other side-effects of living alone. Till then, take care and keep it stylish.

Boredom of Sanity

And just like that, the first month of 2014 is gone. I have had a more or less normal month. I have full attendance in college, I haven't missed gym or morning newspaper on a single day, I have cooked myself quite a few edible meals and of course, I have successfully submitted my project. I have also started writing quite a bit in Bengali and there's something very, very comforting about expressing oneself in their mother tongue. It not only liberates the closeted soul but also makes one see themselves more clearly. I'd always be indebted to  the one who got me into it. I was scared at first, I'd admit but owning up to the fear has been worth it. Apart from that, this absolute stillness in my life drives me crazy at times. There is no ripple, no chaos, no purpose. For someone as eccentric as yours truly, it's not the best way to let her creative juices flowing. In my profession, public image goes a long way and I have realised it the hard way. I'm still not puritan enough to untag myself from pictures that have me posing with a drink in my hand but I have definitely started editing my public persona. It's not an exercise I have been entirely fond of but it has worked for me. It hasn't given me peace of mind but it has definitely helped me fake it. There are still moments when I wake up with a few droplet of tears or I want to scream at the silence of the cold night or I want to run away to the horizon where the sun meets the ground and never come back but mostly, I'm older and wiser.
                                                                                                                                            I haven't had a very good feeling about 2014 and it hasn't disappointed me. Things haven't really gone well on the personal front and they show no signs of improving. The brighter part is, the halogen lights still fill me up with unfathomable pain and unbearable hope at the same time. I still dream every night. I still have a few beliefs to hold on to and no matter how difficult life gets, I don't see them dying very soon. I don't flinch my eyes at flickering bulbs. And I can still walk an extra mile for the sake of my dreams.
                                                                                                                 I had promised you the Adrenalize outfit post long back. The chill had put me in hibernating mode but now that the chill looks all set to leave with Saraswati Pujo coming up, it's time to get those pictures out of the archive and put them up on ze blog!

Maxi dress-Emami,blazer-tailor-made,ring-New Market,pearl earring and bracelet,pink and orange bracelet-gifted,sling-B.K.Market,gladiator-Metro Plaza

Because of lack of planning, Kolkata Literary Meet couldn't happen but I should be able to visit Book Fair if things don't go horribly wrong. So, will be back with the musings of the bookworm. Till then, take care and keep it stylish.
                    Love,
                    Soumi