This is how falling asleep must feel like-peaceful,dizzy,effortless and numb. I'm getting older too. All of twenty two and already over life. "Have you always been a loner? Does it still feel lonely at times?",he asks,sitting right opposite me. I'm not sure whether I heard the question right or not. I've been floating all around these days. I feel light and heavy at the same time. It hasn't rained much this year. The overcast sky looked beautiful from the Shobhabazaar ghaat last night. I remembered a face I used to make when I was five. This new flat is spacious,basic and characterless. It gives me a proper canvas to throw my colours at but I still can't write. Nor can I make love. Everything seems to be such an effort! Just not worth it. Staring at the ceiling is WAY better. It makes me feel alive,in the oddest way. I'm just so tired! O I'm just so tired!
Beautiful writing ! Loneliness/aloneness whatever you call it, is the only [ and much required} refuge of creative souls. yet sometimes, it eats you up.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I love your description of the the flat and your innermost feelings . really beautiful. Keep writing.
Again, where did you disappear ?
DeleteI didn't come online for a while. My net wasn't working. It's still troubling.
DeleteThis made me all the more scared about my impending graduation and 22nd birthday. 'All of twenty two and already over life' is love and heartbreak, as always, together.
ReplyDeleteDon't be scared. Pain and boredom are fun,trust me.
DeleteIf it hasnt rain much in there, here its been raining all week leaving flood and lonely sights.
ReplyDeleteI miss u!
I missed you all too,sweetie! Mwah.
Deletebored at 22....wait till ur 30, then ull wonder why you got bored at 22 at all with so many things to do in life!!
ReplyDeletehttp://sushmita-smile.blogspot.in/
Boredom is unavoidable, but it's really needed at times ...
ReplyDeleteI think so too. It just gets to me at times. That's all.
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